To My Parent Who Left:
I know that you probably thought that you were leaving for something better, but I also know that by now, you must have realized that our family would have been the best thing for you. You left us, but it was your loss in the end. I bet you look at old photos of me and wonder what I am like now. You would be proud of me, for I am stronger than I thought I would be at the age of twenty, partially because you forced me to be.
There are so many things that I would like to ask, like how can a person leave behind their children? But I am glad that I don’t understand. Because you see, that means that I am not like you. And I will make sure to be the best parent I can be someday, because of you.
You missed every milestone in my life; my dance recitals, my first days of school, sports games from little league to high school varsity, my birthday parties, my first boyfriend, my high school graduation, and moving me into college. And you will continue to miss things; my college graduation, my wedding, and meeting my children and your grandchildren. So yes, you could say that not having you there has been and will be my loss too. And for a while, I thought of it that way. I used to feel like I was not good enough for you, but really, you were not good enough for me.
I don’t want you to take credit for, or pride in, where I am today. You don’t deserve as much as to say that you have gotten me here. However, I do want to say thank you. Thank you for showing me that life can be challenging, that not everyone in life is going to stay, and that I am strong enough to overcome disappointment. Thank you for teaching me that I am worth more than the occasional text message on holidays and birthdays. Thank you for giving the rest of our family the chance to welcome someone else into our lives that is capable of being a loving parent.
You did not have the luxury of teaching me how to share, tell time, tie my shoes, or respect my elders. You certainly did not teach me to treat people the way that I would like to be treated, because to me, you have not done that. You did not teach me to overcome the drama of teenage girls, or asshole boys; boys like you. There are a lot of lessons that I learned from my true parents (the one that stayed and the step-parent that stepped in and saved us), and a lot that I learned the hard way. However, you did teach me some things.
I know that you have your own life now, and maybe you don’t think of me often, but I think about you often, and the lessons that I have learned from you. I have learned to only give my time to those who are worthy of it, and those that I trust will be by my side even on my worst days. I have learned that family is not only defined by the blood that runs through your veins, but by the unconditional love that someone feels for you, and that you feel for them. You have taught me to be cautious and careful about whom I give my heart to, as I now know that everyone is not as they seem. Finally, you have taught me to be grateful for all of the people that have managed to stick around, and I can only hope that you wish you had.
So, to my parent who walked away, thank you.
Sincerely,
Your Child