Dating in college has HUGE benefits. As a 20-something student, you have access to a world of people with your same major, interests and goals. When will you ever have an opportunity like this again? Probably never again.
However, despite the benefits, staying a committed relationship during this period of life is incredibly DIFFICULT. From potential distance, crazy schedules and the overwhelming pressure to be what everyone else wants you to be, dating can be more of a hassle than a benefit. Here are some tips to combating those stresses.
Get Off Social Media
I’m sure I’m not the only one who scrolls through Instagram and Twitter and see’s the ridiculous dates that people go on. Sappy post after sappy post can make you unnecessarily anxious about your relationship. “Do we look that cute on dates? Are people jealous of us? Should we get a dog? Does my S/O love ME that much?” As great as it can be to have #relationshipgoals to strive for, DO NOT devalue the relationship you’ve built based off people’s social media posts. Often times, we only post the highlight reels of our lives. You have no idea what’s going on behind lovey-dovey captions and snapchat stories. Stay focused on YOU and your relationship.
Be True to You
Who said you had to date a certain way or go on “x” amount of dates? If your friends are pressuring you into expecting more out of your relationships than you are, you might need to reevaluate that people you are surrounding yourself with. Pinterest relationships are often staged and unrealistic. Know what your partner expects from you and be transparent about your desires as well. Your relationship involves two people. Not everyone else, plus you.
Be Creative About Dates
College can be a ridiculously time. As fun as a weekend getaway or weeknight out in the city sounds, that’s often not an option with your cram packed schedule. Learning to multitask dates can keep your stress level down, without pushing your bf/gf out of your life. Go to coffee shops and study together or grab a quick dinner while running important errands. You can still spend time together without setting aside 4 hours for an expensive date night.
Lower Your Ridiculous Expectations
If YOU don’t have time (or the budget) to go shopping for pricey presents, write poems, or run circles around town, picking up things for your S/O, DO NOT expect them to do so either. Be thankful if they can help you out or treat you to an occasional nice dinner. Be clear about your needs and communicate with your S/O if you feel as if you’re putting in all the effort. (But don’t be mad if your person is busy from time to time.)
Be Honest with Your Feelings
This is SO crucial. College is a time about discovering yourself and figuring out where your next steps in life will lead you. Don’t leave your person stranded, waiting for you to make up your mind on what you need. Be thoughtful of others by clearly stating what you desire from a relationship, and be realistic about the amount of time you can commit to the other person. If you are in college, dealing with long-distance, be patient and understanding as you work out your schedules. If you sense a need for change, don’t stay in the relationship! Sticking around will only make the break-up harder in the end.
Make Time
As hard as it can be, you have to make time for your person. Even if this means 30 minutes of no phones/computers/homework once a week, you MUST do it! Being busy is understandable, but disregarding your partner’s feelings and not making time to invest in them is heartbreaking. Ask your person how their day is going or shoot them a “good luck today” text. The small moments you pay attention to them will make their whole day.