All couples eventually face the question of whether or not they should break up before heading off to college. Now, this decision is usually the hardest for couples that are heading in different directions; whether it be going off to a college 4+ hours away, or staying in your hometown and commuting to a local university. No matter what the circumstances are, it is never easy. And I have proof!
Living on a small floor with 30 girls and 30 boys, the drama is endless. And considering everyone on my floor is abnormally close, we pretty much know almost everything there is to know about everybody. Okay… maybe that was a bit too far, but we do know about the relationship drama, that’s for sure. And being the nosy person I am, I decided to find out a bit more about my peer’s relationships.
I developed a series of questions and decided to ask the same set of questions to three different people on my floor. First, I asked one of my roommates, Mia. She and her boyfriend, Shawn, have been together for 9 months now. They went to highschool together and met each other through mutual friends. They talked for about 2 and a half months before he asked her out. When asked if they ever fought while back at home, Mia responded with “never.” They’ve never broken up and there were never any trust issues either. But since Mia came to OU, which is four hours away from where Shawn commutes to a local college, they’ve fought multiple times. When asked what the fights were about, Mia replied with “a boy on our floor that I’m friends with that Shawn is insecure about” and a few little arguments over when he can come visit. “He visited once and stayed for two days, I cried each night over not knowing what to do and not wanting to hurt him,” says Mia. When asked whether or not she sees them lasting in college, Mia said no because Shawn’s overcommitted and they are not in the same situation whatsoever. The last thing Mia was questioned about is if this is what she expected when she left for college. She answered with no, she thought she would miss him, but instead she’s actually been having fun and okay without him.
The next person I asked similar questions to was my neighbor, Payton. Payton and her boyfriend, Tony, have been dating for two years, but before dating they “talked” for about a year. Not only that, but they’ve been best friends since the eighth grade. When asked if they fought a lot back at home, Payton replied with “We didn’t really fight, at all.” But, they did have one fall back when they broke up this past March because Payton’s ex-boyfriend had texted her about how he ran into her mom. Tony misinterpreted this, which caused an argument and caused them to break up for only a week. Although Payton says they are both equally crazy and have their moments, she also says there are absolutely no trust issues and they haven’t fought at all since being at separate colleges. Tony goes to OSU, so being only an hour and a half away, they’ve visited and have seen each other almost every weekend. Each time they had fun and didn’t fight about anything. Payton said she sees them staying together all throughout college and they talk about being together forever. The last question was if this is how Payton expected them to be in college, she replied with “I thought we’d fight so much more, but seeing each other so often definitely helps, so I’m glad our colleges are so close. There’s FaceTime and calling, which also helps!”
Wanting to get a boy’s perspective on the whole long-distance relationship situation, I went to a boy on my floor named Tristan. Tristan and his girlfriend, Jill, have been dating for about 5 months now. Before dating, they “talked” for about a month. “We met in high school and she actually slid into my DM’s after my girlfriend and I of two years broke up” Tristan said. When asked if they fought a lot back at home, he replied with “She broke up with me a lot, but it never lasted more than 24 hours.” Tristan says he has absolutely no problems trusting her, but since being at different colleges, she has issues with him partying and being around other girls. Along with Payton’s boyfriend, Jill also goes to OSU, so being so close has caused Tristan and Jill to have seen each other almost every weekend since coming to college. Tristan believes that they will last all four years of college because when asked if this is how he expected things to be when he went off to college, he responded with “I thought there’d be way more temptations, but I’ve been extremely loyal. Things are actually going better than expected.” Even though there may be some arguments and rough spots, Tristan is determined to work things out with Jill because he doesn’t want distance to spoil their relationship.
After interviewing and finding information out about these three couples, I’ve come to one conclusion. The way relationships were back at home before leaving for college may not be the way the relationships stay when away at college. It just depends on the couple and the relationship. If you’re anything like any of these couples, the bottom line is that you shouldn’t overlook anything. We’re all in college, we’re all meeting new people and we’re all doing different things, but in the end the only thing that can conquer everything else, is love. Love has the chance to be strong enough to get us through anything. But sometimes you can’t help it if the love begins to fade away, and that’s the issue when it comes to long distance relationships. You’re living your own new life and so are they! And college is all about finding yourself, putting yourself first and being selfish. Sometimes broken things aren’t meant to be mended. Sometimes you have to mend yourself on your own.
Cover photo provided by relationshipexperts.net