That really isn’t a joke. Here’s my run down, minute by minute of what went down last Friday…
2:00 AM – Alarm goes off, waking me up from a terrifying Royal Wedding nightmare. If you’ve seen the show Game of Thrones on HBO, it was basically a cross between that and William and Kate on Lifetime. Kate married William, who wasn’t balding but instead a horse Prince with a full head of hair, and a scary evil blonde man was plotting against the couple. I need to stop watching HBO before bed. So, I shower and I arm myself with tea and my blanket and head down stairs.
3:00 AM – I planned to tune into BBCA at three on the dot. I figured that the television would be free, seeing that it’s 3 AM, but my RA is watching music videos on MTV. Wedding hysteria sets in and I desperately try to find an online feed.
3:15 AM – My RA surrenders the high-def! Thank you, Royal Wedding Gods!
3:17 AM – BBCA is broadcasting messages from all over the world to wish the couple well. They even broadcast a special message from the space station! I sit and wonder why the world has become so obsessed with this moment. BBCA answers me by explaining that it is a happy occasion in such a dark time for the world.
3:25 AM – The first of the guests are arriving and it’s hats on parade! In my research on the wedding guest list I was promised Kanye West, Colin Firth and the Beckhams. I can understand the Beckhams and Firth, but Kanye? Really?
3:33 AM – BBCA goes inside Westminster Abbey. The decorations are so simple; just trees lining the red carpeted aisle. They will be planted at High Grove after the wedding… I think I may need one of the Royal Wedding “Throne Up” sick bags. This is just too romantic!
3:45 AM – They finally give us a rundown of how long we have to wait until the actual action begins. There is still an hour and a half until the Princes leave Clarence House. However, there is a little action when the too adorable bridesmaids and pageboys leave for Goring Hotel.
4:08 AM – the Rolls Royce that will carry Catherine Middleton from the Goring to Westminster pulls up. If I envied her before, that car just sent me over the edge.
4:13 AM – THE BECKHAMS HAVE ARRIVED!! (Yes, I really count this as a key moment.) David looks dashing in his coat tails and well styled hair. Victoria, almost seven months pregnant with the couple’s fourth child, looks absolutely stunning in a black dress and simple Philip Treacy hat.
4:40 AM – A giant motorcade carrying the extended Royal Family and foreign guests depart from the palace. We have 20 minutes to go until the Princes depart. William and Catherine set up a fund for guests to donate to in place of wedding gifts, but apparently not everyone got the memo. BBCA talks about a group that had a special tandem bike made for the couple. I would kill to see Wills and his bride peddling around town.
4:47 AM – More prominent guests arrive, including Sir Elton John and his partner David Furnish. Still no sign of Kanye (phew!) or Colin Firth (boo).
5:00 AM – My brain starts to go a little fuzzy at this point. Why am I up this early? Why am I hanging on to every word these British people are saying? And where the heck is Colin Firth?!
5:12 AM – Action! Finally! After two hours, hundreds of hats and no Colin Firth, the Princes have left Clarence House! Prince William and Prince Harry (who will be known as his brother’s best man, not supporter like in past royal weddings) are taking their strangely long drive to the Abbey. Their car (a Bentley) is even cooler than the Bride’s. It has a glass roof, allowing the crowds and cameras to views the handsome (and sadly balding) Princes. A few minutes into their winding drive, I begin to wonder if they are driving to Narnia.
5:18 AM – The Princes arrive at the Abbey and begin to mingle with their guests. I get a chill as Wills walks in and takes off his hat and gloves. It’s a mirror of his father’s arrival at his wedding to Lady Diana Spencer 30 years ago.
5:24 – 5:31 AM – With absolutely no sign of Kanye West, Carol Middleton and her son, James, leave the Goring Hotel. Upon their arrival, the Mother of the Bride reveals she is wearing a classy powder blue dress.
5:37 AM – Prince Charles leaves for the Abbey. Fun fact: there are big screen televisions on the walls of the Abbey! They’re there for the wedding guests too far back to see the exchange of vows. The Queen is the next to depart and when she arrives at the Abbey, the connections to Charles and Diana’s wedding are even more noticeable. Thankfully, the Queen is a little more stylish this time. Her canary yellow dress and hat are much prettier than her previous teal frock. However, not much can be done to hide the fact that the Queen and her husband Prince Philip are looking so old.
5:51 AM – Catherine Middleton is in the car! Words fail me as I get my first glimpse of the dress that’s identity was so protected. High neck, long lace overlay sleeves and her hair is half up and curly. The dress is so beautiful I start to tear up. For the next ten minutes, Kate and her father travel to the Abbey, waving at the crowds. She has been having special classes with the Queen for months, training her how to be the perfect Royal. Unfortunately, you can tell that the excitement has gotten to her and she forgets her manners. The Royals are taught to wave from their wrist, but she waves enthusiastically with her whole arm.
6:00 AM – Perfect timing. Kate and her wedding party arrive at the church. The wind blows her veil against her face and her dress billows out behind her as Maid of Honor Pippa Middleton arranges her train. The dress is revealed as Sarah Burton for Alexander McQueen and the world goes mad with excitement.
The procession begins, the Princes come out from a side chapel where they were waiting, and the fairy tale unfolds before the crowd. The Prince waits for his Bride, back turned, and the Best Man turns to sneak a peek. The choir sings as the Bride approaches, incapable of anything but smiling. The world speculates still what the couple whispered to each other upon meeting at the altar, all different versions of “You’re stunning.” The ceremony only lasts twenty minutes. The romance that started years ago at St. Andrews University has reached a new chapter. Now we just have to sit through another half hour of praying and singing and speeches and more singing.
7:08 AM – An hour after they entered the church as Prince William and Catherine Middleton, The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge emerge from Westminster Abbey hand in hand. They greet the crowd and climb into the open top carriage. The couple is graceful, modern and finally man and wife.
I thought sitting up for 6 hours watching the big day unfold would be easy. I thought my wedding day adrenaline would keep me going long after the balcony kisses. After the wedding I did what every other person did and I went back to bed. Unfortunately, when I woke up I felt like I was dying of some unknown disease and spent the weekend in my bed. I guess I should have realized that coming down from that extreme anticipation high would have its cost: a Royal Wedding hangover that lasted a week. Was it really worth it? I think so. After growing up reading fairy tales and watching Disney Princesses get married, I finally got to see a real fairy tale. That’s something that I’m never going to forget.