Yes. You read the title correctly. Part of me wants to ignore it and pretend that it’s not an issue. The other part of me wants to scream at the top of my lungs. There’s no good way to be told your friend is sleeping with your ex, but when you’re in a connected room it makes it a whole lot worse.
Violating Girl Code
Hmm.. I have to say sleeping with your roommate’s ex definitely violates girl code. Sure, we aren’t the closest of friends, but I live with her. We share a bathroom and clothes. Regardless to say this breaks girl code to the 9th degree. Trying to be a supportive friend encouraging her to be happy is the hardest part of this whole thing, but then I remember the only reason my friends know him is from coming out with us last year when him and I were dating.
Does Time Matter?
Yes, we had broken up over the summer, but the first time they slept together was the first weekend back. At that time I was already interested in someone else and I thought it was nothing serious – just a random hookup. I was okay with it because I couldn’t be hypocritical for moving on. I felt that I had to be encouraging because we were friends, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bother me.
For a long time I never thought about them together again. Then, I found out a lot more information.
(Photo courtesy // shemazing.net)
Sneaking Around is NOT Acceptable
One time I came home from my friend’s house after a night out and my other roommate distracted me till 8 a.m. to keep me out of the room. Originally, I thought she was trying to cheer me up and take me out to eat so that we could catch up. But when I tried to say I was tired and we should leave the restaurant a strange look came over her face.
She looked at me and told me I wasn’t allowed to come in the room because my ex was in the room with my roommate still. After how my night went, I was livid. I was having a terrible night and I was exhausted. Now I wasn’t even allowed in my own room because my roommate was worried I’d find out that this weekend fling last semester was still going on.
The Truth Came Out
A week after this happened, the roommate sleeping with my ex finally told me about it. I mentioned that I already knew. But, of course, it couldn’t have been that simple as a drunk mistake. She continued to tell me they are talking throughout the day and that this may go somewhere.
She also slipped in that they had been sleeping together for a while and it wasn’t just the few times I knew about from other people. Obviously I told her it was fine because how else do you tell your friend to go date your ex? But now the more he’s over, the more I’m regretting that decision.
Sexiled
I don’t mind the idea of either of them being together and happy, if that’s what they both want then that’s what they want. However, I do mind having to leave my room once I’m at home after the bars on the weekend.
Regardless to say the worst part is having to know they are hooking up on the other side of the room and I either need to leave, sleep somewhere else or listen.
I choose to leave. Every. Single. Time.
Advice To Girls Sleeping with Their Friend’s Ex-Boyfriends
Just don’t do it. Unless you’re madly in love and think you’re going to marry this man – he is not worth your time. And it is not worth losing a friendship or having really uncomfortable moments of silence in the room.
Advice To Girls Whose Friend is Sleeping with Their Ex
Don’t be afraid to tell your roommate or friend that you are not okay with them sleeping with your ex. As long as it’s in a reasonable time frame, like for example a few months or less than a year, you still have the right to say you’re bothered. This does not mean you want to be back together with him, it’s just a respect issue.
So if you’re having a bad day or didn’t get an A on an exam at least you don’t have to come home to your ex hanging out with your roommate or listening about their sex life.
(Photo courtesy // lifechirolompoc.com)
(Cover photo courtesy of pixabay.com)