It’s easy to be bullied by the mind — it’s harder to stay connected to your passion. I am a yoga teacher. I am passionate about living a yogic life — asana, pranayama, meditation, practice, food, service, attitude, relationship, all of it. I do my best every day to bring yoga to my life. Even so, I am not different than any other human doing their best everyday. Most mornings, I begrudgingly get out of bed and go do my practice. Not what you imagined I’d say, right? As a passionate practitioner and teacher you study with, see in the community, or hear about through friends, you might think I get up cheery and light-in-step so delighted that it’s morning and itching to practice. I must admit, however, in the cycle of a year of practice, that is maybe true 1-2 times per month.
The rest of the time, I have a long mental debate on whether to pull the covers over my head, roll over and go back to sleep OR stick to my passionate commitment and get on the mat. This debate is made so much more difficult in the winter season when I feel a deep primal urge for hibernation. Most mornings, I do drag out of bed and move through my morning bathroom routine while my practice space is heating. Then, I head over to my yoga room and get on the mat. (It’s worth noting here that I said “most mornings.” Sometimes I do just roll over and go back to sleep.)
Now, you might be thinking that since I made it to the mat that I launch into a graceful, flowing movements with complicated asanas that turn my body into extraordinary shapes. Again, on those rare 1-2 times per month, that might be true. On my super difficult days (which, let’s be honest, feels like most days in winter), I set the intention to just get on the mat, lay down and breathe. I even leave space for falling back to sleep if it happens. I also only expect 15 minutes from myself. This is a radical idea. Aren’t we all supposed to be practicing for hours in the morning before the sun even comes up? At least that is what we tell ourselves and what many things we read try to reinforce.
Let me pause here and say, I am not getting down on the people who can and do that daily. I actually applaud them. What I am saying is that if we want to have a daily commitment to our practice, maybe we should stop expecting so much and make space to just get on the mat. My iRest Yoga Nidra meditation teacher, Richard Miller, once said in a training I attended (and I’m paraphrasing here) … if we want to ensure trust and the possibility of achievement in ourselves, we must set goals that we can achieve to create a belief in our abilities. This was life changing to hear. In iRest, we are taught to welcome everything just as it is. Upon hearing this idea from Richard about setting small goals and working up, it has been possible to truly welcome that begrudging side of myself and still press ahead to at least just get on the mat and breath.
Each day, my practice goal is to get out of bed, turn on my heater, roll out my mat, do my bathroom routine, get on my mat, lay down and breath deeply for at least 15 minutes each morning. Most days, I succeed. Some days I don’t. I try not to let those days be the ones that I focus on. What I have come to learn is that in keeping it simple (a thing my grandmother reminds me all the time — “get back to the basics, Michelle”), by just laying down and taking deep, slow focused breaths, my body and mind begin to respond. They want more. Often, that begrudging walk to the mat for 15 minutes of reclined breathing, turns into 30-40 minutes of focused breath and movement inspired by my body’s deepest needs for health and wholeness.
On these days, I am grateful for my perseverance. I build trust in my ability to overcome. I believe I can achieve the simple practice of 15 minutes. I surrender to the moment and welcome myself and my practice as it is. These kinds of days remind me why I’ve chosen this path (one that is often made to look easy but is really very difficult). These days inform my ability to meet people where they are both on the mat and in life. They’ve tempered my expectations so that I can allow space for others to rise rather than expect immediate greatness. They’ve taught me how to accept where I am and be content with that space, but also to know that it will be different each day. These days (begrudging or not) inspire me to get out of bed and be curious about what might happen next.
I decided to focus this month’s writing on my personal experience with daily practice and the truth behind what you see on the outside or perceive with your own thoughts because many of my students talk to me about their own struggles with creating and staying committed to a daily practice (or even getting to classes). I hold space for them to feel vulnerable. I don’t judge. I know that it’s true. We all live in a busy, fast-paced life that makes a daily practice challenging. I experience it every single day too. What I also know is that I am better in my busy, fast-paced life when I hold space to meet myself in a daily practice. I am a better teacher, better partner, better friend, better business person, better humanitarian, better giver, better receiver — AN ALL-AROUND BETTER HUMAN — when I practice. So, after my students have expressed their difficulties and the worries and judgement those create, I share with them my strategies for overcoming and rising above. These aren’t necessarily the end all, be all. And, they may not work for everyone. From my experience, however, this is part of what I offer when students seek my counsel:
1. It’s important to remember that practice is always a choice AND you can choose not to! It’s OK. Your world won’t end because you take a day off and sleep a little more or get a pedicure or slouch on the couch and indulge yourself in chocolate and movies.
2. That said, you shouldn’t let more than two full days pass by before you practice again. Think of practice like brushing your teeth. You might skip brushing them at night because you are too tired, but you certainly wouldn’t go days without brushing them. For the health of your teeth and the freshness of your breath, you keep a regular practice of brushing your teeth. For the health of your mind, your body and your spirit, you need to think of your practice like brushing your teeth. Too much time away and you start to sour.
3. Set reasonable goals you can achieve to foster success in your practice and trust in yourself to attain the goal. Use an egg timer or meditation timer, pick a small amount of time, do your best to stay present during that time, and see what happens. Maybe you roll up your mat so happy it is over in just 15 minutes. Maybe you ignore the timer and keep on going. You get to choose! Either way is just perfect.
4. Tune in to your body. Home practice is very different than class. Do what you feel arising, even if it looks or flows weird. Your body and intuition are the best guide for your practice. When you are in a class, it is to have a shared experience and energy exchange with a teacher and other students. Your home practice is all about you!
5. It’s OK to just lay down and focus on deep breath (even to fall asleep). Breathing practices go a long way in creating balanced respiratory health, as well as mental health. So, even if your practice is deep breathing for 5 days straight, that’s OK. You are doing yoga. You are benefiting.
6. Develop a habit with the time you are going to practice and the location. Make it special. Your quiet space. Your private time. Create the habit so that it becomes as second nature like brushing your teeth.
7. Keep the habit you’ve created — and this is most important — ESPECIALLY IN DIFFICULT TIMES. We often give up on our practice when things get rough, and that is when we need it most. Stay committed even when it is hard and your mind is all over the place. Watch one breath at a time and welcome whatever is there.
8. Give yourself permission to do less and set your practice time free to be nourishing rather than a thing that you have to tick off a list. (See #3, 4 and 5).
When we begin with an attitude of welcoming, it becomes OK to begrudgingly begin. It is in the beginning that we achieve the goal, foster greater confidence in our abilities, and set a pattern of success against some pretty heavy obstacles — namely your own mind! If you need help getting started, give me a call or click to set a private appointment. I can work with you to design a simple home routine that starts as a foundation for you to expand on as you feel inspired.
Photo credits (c) 2015. Melanie Shaulis Photography, Inhale Yoga Studio and Michelle Stobart Yoga.
Michelle Stobart is a Yoga Teacher, Yoga Therapist and Thai Massage Practitioner in Athens, Ohio. She offers group yoga and meditation classes, private therapeutic yoga sessions and Thai Massage. In her free time, she hangs out on the banks of water or playing on her paddleboard in the water, reads, hikes and enjoys time with her friends and family. Michelle believes that yoga is more than just a pose on a mat … it is a way of life. She tries to embody what she teaches daily to serve as a mentor for others embracing a more connected, full life! To schedule or chat, you can reach her at michelle@inhaleyoga.org.