1. Eating everything out of a box or a bag. There’s no denying that your diet majorly consists of instant oatmeal, Cheez-Its, and late-night pizza. Your grandma’s dog probably gets fed more real food than you do.
2. Showering less. The thing about showering is that you have to put on your nasty shower shoes and use your smelly towel and stare at a giant clump of someone else’s hair on the wall of the shower. Yeah, no thanks.
3. Wearing dirty clothes. The laundry room is too far away and it’s a pain to juggle your heavy sack of rotting T-shirts and your detergent. You’ll probably get all the way there and forget your dryer sheets anyway, so you may as well wait until next week to do it.
4. Drinking in excess. When you step off campus and reflect on how much alcohol you consume on any given weekend, you worry that you’ve likely filled your body with enough Dirty Shirley’s this semester to fill your neighborhood swimming pool.
5. Getting intimate with people that you barely know. Strange roommates. One-night stands. Crowded bars. House parties that get really weird really fast. You sure don’t need a stupid joke to break the ice in college.
6. Language. Thanks to carefree professors, frat boys and your newfound plethora of party-girl friends, you’ve taken on an entirely new vocabulary, which cannot exactly be described as lady-like. And your mother is concerned.
7. Not exercising. “I didn’t have time… I’m on my period… I’m too hungover… That guy I hooked up with on Friday is probably there and I don’t want him to see me.” Those excuses are all code for “I’d basically rather die than go to the gym today.”
8. Lack of personal grooming. You kind of have a unibrow. Your feet look like troll’s feet and are in desperate need of a pedicure. You never shave your legs anymore because, well, why would you?
9. In your free time, you’re a hermit. What used to be your dorm room is now a dark cave used solely for hibernation, Netflix binging, and the consumption of Milano cookies.
All GIFs: giphy.com