9 Thoughts Girls Have When Car Sex Doesn't Meet Expectations

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It’s a great fantasy and usually a major disappointment… yes, car sex. Here’s the thoughts that cross a girl’s mind when she realizes it is not what she was expecting.   

1. At least I can cross this off my bucket list. It happened. I never need to do it again. This stuff is supposed to be hot anyways, right?

2. There’s no way we both fit back here. Half a person can lay comfortably in the back of a car so there’s no way two people are going to have enough room to move around.

3. Please remove the seatbelt from my spine. There’s probably a seatbelt in my mid-back and another one digging into my neck. And I can’t move away from the seatbelts without falling off the edge of this seat. Great. 

4. I want to switch positions, but how do I do this gracefully? If we stop completely and rearrange, it ruins the moment. But the moment is ruined already. Ok. I’m going to go the opposite way of you… ready, set, go. 

5. Ouch! That was my head. Like three times. First, I hit in on the ceiling, then the door, the ceiling again. It’s fine. I wanted a concussion today.   

6. Ok, it’s too stuffy in here… Please get off of me. I’m squished, my hair is knotty and I can’t breathe.

7. If we get caught, I’m screwed and going to jail. Honestly, I might just pretend he’s a stranger if the cop knocks on this window. Or worse, my parents will find me. Sh*t.

8. I need a drink. Now. This is something I should never do sober. Plus, I now need a drink from this headache and sore muscles.

9. Remind me never to do this again. Ever. Like, what was I thinking in the first place? I need a mental evaluation… but in reality, I’ll probably do it again because I’m an idiot.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

About The Author

Ohio University Class of 2018

Strategic Communications 

Just a small town girl with big city dreams