Note: this post was originally published on Kayla’s Love&Leisure. Check it and other great aricles by her out now!
Let’s just be blunt: Most (I emphasize, most) guys go on Tinder just to find a casual hookup buddy. They aren’t looking for a strong companionship, loving relationship, or a his-and-her-towels partner for life—all they really want is sex. But once in a blue moon you might just meet someone who is on Tinder with no ‘sexpectations,’ a guy who just wants to date around and find out who else is out there. How can you tell, you ask? It’s not always easy, and men definitely have their sly ways of making women believe they actually want more just so they can hit a home run. Of course, when it comes to the dating games, there are no definitive answers. Nevertheless, here are a couple of signals that mean he’s potentially interested in you, not just your body:If he…1. Asks you out for coffee instead of drinks.Or—better yet—he asks you out to dinner. I mean, what guy wants to pay for a girl’s meal AND his own just for a one-night stand? On that same note, no guy looking for a quickie will want to sit there and listen to your story about how your grandma emigrated to the United States when she was 20 over a cup of joe at 11 AM. Talking about your gammy isn’t exactly an instant turn-on. 2. Messages you in the afternoon rather than late at night.And when he does message you between 2-8 PM, it’s not “heyyyy ;),” it’s “hey, how’s it going?” Don’t be naive, you know that winky faces imply sex 90% of the time. 3. Doesn’t constantly comment on your looks. Obviously, “You look beautiful,” is different than “Damn, your legs look smokin’ hot.” When you talk about school, your job, and career aspirations, he doesn’t suddenly interrupt and start commenting on how great your boobs and butt look. If he manages to bring your appearance into the convo, it’s not just a coincidence and he’s not just being nice; he talks about your boobs and butt because that’s all he really cares about. 4. Lets you call the shots. If the only time you’re free is Saturday morning, he will meet you Saturday morning…and not try to rearrange the date for Saturday night at 10PM. It means he doesn’t care how or when you spend your time together, he just wants to spend time with you.
5. Is willing to travel to see you. No guy is going to want to drive or take an hour train ride just for sex…and if they do, it’s kinda muy desperado. If he is putting in the time and effort it’s because he actually cares and wants to see if you two could potentially be more.
6. Walks you home and doesn’t pressure you to go upstairs after your date.Instead, he gives you a kiss goodnight or a peck on the cheek and says he had a really nice time.
7. Doesn’t cut the date short. Meaning, he doesn’t just buy you one drink and then insist on bringing you back to his apartment to “hang out” for the rest of the night. True, drinks can get expensive, especially if you are dating in the Big Apple, but if the guy wants to leave right away and bring you with him, that one drink really was just a way to warm you up and make you want to go home with him. If the hours fly by and you two are still at the same coffee shop or still picking at your appetizers, it’s a good sign.
8. Makes concrete plans for a second date. Or he calls/texts you a day after to make plans. If he says he will call you “later,” “soon,” or “some other time,” he may not be feeling you or will only contact you when he wants to…you know.
9. Randomly texts you. Not just because he wants you to “chill” at his apartment right now, but because he saw something that reminded him of you or made him think of your ridiculous inside joke. Guys normally aren’t huge texters, but if he strikes up a conversation out-of-the-blue and doesn’t have any intention of seeing you that day, it shows sex is not his only motive to talk to you.
10. Opens up to you.Men aren’t creatures that like to express how they’re feeling…they also aren’t creatures that like to show vulnerability. When they do, it’s a big deal and often means that they trust you and you mean more to them than the average hookup buddy. Follow Kayla on Twitter @ksk316Like’ Love&Leisure on Facebook for more posts!