Last week I was obsessively watching a Greek TV show called ΛΟΛΑ (Lola). Not wanting to get into the summary of the series, I want to talk about a certain scene where Lola, the main character of the series, went out with her girlfriends and they met some men. Throughout the night Lola was chatting with them about football, cars and politics, profoundly knowing more than them. The guys left abruptly and her girlfriends blamed Lola for the reason, stating that she should not have shown her intellect to the guys and should have played dumb to boost their ego and not drive them away. The show ran from 2008 until 2009 so it is almost 10 years old.
So my question was: should we as women really have to dumb ourselves down to get the man we want?
I am 21 years old and this is 2018, but when I was younger I remember being told by the older generations that ‘we as women should never let men know that we are smarter than them’ because that we will drive them away. Then they would continue to explain how a man would feel intimidated if a woman is actually smarter than him, more educated or having a higher pay rate. After all, men are supposed to be the breadwinners and protectors of the family, and they are supposed to bring the money and make all the important decisions for the family, whereas the women should concern themselves with the bringing up of the children.
That is indeed a traditional way of thinking, but arguably it is not how society perceives men and women today. However, we have seen from movies (i.e Mean Girls) how women dumb themselves down deliberately to win the man they want or how men feel intimidated because their wives had a job or higher pay rate than them (remember Lynette and Tom Scavo from Desperate Housewives?) I am sure you have examples either by you or by some friend who played dumb for even just one date so as to not intimidate the man.
But right now, in 2018 do men really want women to dumb themselves down for them? Do men feel intimidated by women’s intellect or higher pay rate or better job?
Of course there are some men who do but the world is changing. Oprah Winfrey’s net worth is $2.8 billion while her partner’s (Stedman Graham) is $10 million and they are happily together with her partner encouraging her to run for president! Although you can say that this couple is an exception, I have also decided to ask a couple of my male friends to get their opinions.
We are talking about males age 20-25 and I was pleasantly surprised that almost all of them (only one admitted to the opposite) prefer a woman who they can have an intellectually challenging conversation with, learning from her travels, education or furthering their knowledge in a particular subject. One explained that they would ‘actually prefer a woman who had different interests and knowledge on different things than me so I can learn something new from her and can pass my knowledge to her’ while another stated that ‘if I find a woman who knows more things than me on technology I would marry her!’.
However, there was one guy who made it clear that there is a different between a smart woman and one who brags about her intelligence and who constantly undermines you; the latter he actually hates. In contrast, when I asked them whether they would mind if their partner/wife had a higher pay or better job than them, there were mixed views with some guys stating that they would by happy for their partner and others admitting that they still consider themselves as the breadwinner and it would bother them.
I can conclude that times are changing and there has definitely been a change of the perception of men about women from 2008 up until now with men being more comfortable with intellectual and educated women around them. There is still progress to be made but I cannot help but hope for men and women one day to be perceived as equals by one another.
Edited By Isabelle Walker
Images
https://weheartit.com/entry/59433803
https://www.neuronation.com/science/male-vs-female-brains-there-scientific-evidence-our-differences