Pick-up lines… Are they funny or just down-right cringey? Do they work? Do they sound as ridiculous when girls say them to guys as they do when it’s the other way round? I decided to give them a try on a night out last week.
After making the decision to horrendously embarrass myself in the name of investigative journalism (if you can actually call this investigation by that name), I needed to pick a place in which to do said embarrassing task. I proceeded to flit between bar and club for a fair bit of time – bars meant less drunk guys and more chance of total humiliation, but clubs meant overly drunk guys so less chance of really seeing if they worked and would go home with anyone. There was also the added difficulty of miscommunication when faced with the challenge of having to practically yell over the music. I settled on a happy mix – Pop Confessional.
Upon deciding that, I headed there to face the music (pun intended). On arrival, I needed a few vodka shots in the confession booth to calm the nerves – walking up to random people to chat to them while relatively sober is definitely not my forte. However, in the name of knowledge I ended the drinking there so I could truly appreciate and learn whether the mythical pick-up line was a winner. I had found a list previously on Cracked.com, titled 11 Original Pickup Lines That Cannot Fail; that definitiveness made me hopeful. If they could not fail, then surely I wouldn’t seem like a weirdo?
I thought I’d start with number 11 – ‘Hi, my name is Lily, but you can call me tonight’. Unsurprisingly, this one had some luck. As a fairly normal pick-up line, I didn’t come off like a creep and actually successfully started chatting to mystery man number 1. Success.
My next few attempts however went into a rapid downhill spiral… Trying out number 8 (‘if looks could kill, you’d be a weapon of mass destruction) ended up with me offending mystery man number 2 and implying he had been sending me daggers and/or had a resting bitchface. Due to the fact that I was at a noisy club night, trying to explain myself only led to the digging of an even larger hole for myself and so I was forced to retreat and run away in shame.
Number 6 also backfired. ‘Hi, do you have a few minutes for me to hit on you?’ suggested I needed to then continue to hit on him. I couldn’t think of anything to say, spluttered, and had to leave again to what I think was laughter at me, not with me.
Finally, I tried number 1, supposedly the crème de la crème. For the top original pick-up line, it went the most wrong. ‘Do you have a tan, or do you always look this hot?’ doesn’t really work when the guy informs you he is in fact a fairly pasty white (something which the darkness of Bodega managed to mask). This one not only managed to low-key offend someone, but also led to him inching away out of probably genuine dislike of me.
So, Cracked.com lied to me. They most definitely could fail… The lines might not have sounded quite as creepy coming out of a girl’s mouth as they could have done if it had been the other way round, but I still would recommend steering clear of pick-up lines and sticking to good, old-fashioned ‘can I buy you a drink’.
Sources
https://www.jamesvincent.life/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Girl-Flirting.jpg
https://img.memecdn.com/cant-tell-if-girls-flirting_o_836784.jpg