Tell her she’ll never do better
Then get her so drunk she ends up ringing her ex because you told her the booze would make her feel more confident.
After she’s finished screaming at her ex’s voicemail with you oohing in the background, make sure to make some inappropriate jokes about what happened
As the buzz of this wears off don’t under any circumstances let her talk it about what happened with you! It’s best forgotten and repressed!
What next? Log on to Facebook of course! It’s time to analyse the ‘other woman’ and go on and on about her appearance. Then encourage your friend to upload a tonne of selfies with captions and quotes depicting perfectly how over the whole thing she is.
After this she’ll probably say she never saw this coming or even that she should have seen it coming. This is your cue to talk about how you and all your friends thought this might happen.
…and that she should learn from this experience. After all everyone loves to learn from their mistakes!
besides it’s her fault because she chose him!
although maybe she’s taking him sleeping/kissing/flirting with someone else a bit too seriously! Ask her if she’s sure or if she might have overreacted.
after all this depressing talk, cheer her up by telling her how great your relationship is at the moment! Then leave to hang out with your boyfriend- it’s what she would want.
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