This summer, I found myself in a situation that countless students find themselves in: my bank account was rapidly emptying, so I took a job as a waitress in the local pub to tide me over until September and the long anticipated arrival of my student loan. Only a few minutes into my first shift, I soon realised that this was not a job for the faint-hearted. Here are some things that you can expect (or dread) if you, like me, naively decide to take on work as a waitress…
- Saturday Night Sweat-outs
Forget the gym, by the end of a busy shift (never agree to work a Saturday night if you’re not too fit), you will have speed-walked so many laps of the restaurant that you lose the feeling in your feet long before you’re due to finish. Dashes between a warm dining room and an even warmer kitchen will guarantee you have sweated off all your excess water weight within an hour of starting your shift, leaving you with toned limbs or at least aching all over the next day.
2. Eat a hearty meal before work
With not only the amount of running around you’re doing, but also all those “succulent steaks” you’re serving, you are bound to get to the point where your mouth is watering and you no longer need to question whether the 5 packets of crisps scoffed from behind the bar and that spare bowl of left over chips in the kitchen are a good idea…Oops!
3. The smell of food doesn’t just linger in the air…
Your hair and clothes will stink of chip fat. Always. Even after a shower. My best advice is to scrape back your hair into a bun so at least some is saved from the once inviting, now revolting stench of food. If you plan to meet people after work, it is imperative that you leave time to shower, because trust me, nobody wants to smell that.
4. The chef hates you.
The chef will shout at anyone who says the wrong thing at the wrong moment, and often even the right thing. Don’t get in their way, don’t shout back. Complaints from customers to the chef should be left until the chef has put down any knives and followed by your swift exit from the kitchen.
5. Your fake-smile skills will beocome so good, even you can’t tell the difference
Whether it’s to the shouty chef, a lazy colleague or that gluten free, dairy free, nut free, egg free, soy free customer who has made you run back and forth from the kitchen 20 times to ask about ingredients and then orders a burger and chips, this smile will last the whole shift until you leave and are able to massage your cheeks back to your resting bitch-face.
6. You will always finish later than you’re supposed to
There is always that one moony couple sat in the corner in their own romantic little bubble. You stand in their line of sight waiting for a call for the bill that never comes, all the while hoping your boss will pay you for the extra hour you spent standing by the side table fiddling with the napkins.
7. Tips, or more often the lack of
After all that you go through to get a table to the end of a good meal! The obstacles are many but the payback is often minimal, if at all existent. I know for certain I will never tip badly again… “And a 25% tip for you!” is a phrase all waiting staff dream of.
All this suffering has (sometimes) been worth it to keep my bank balance out of negative figures and my pride in having survived. After this you may be wondering what draws people towards this vocation? Although for me it was sheer monetary desperation, the alliances that are made in these sweltering and often difficult environments with fellow waitresses at least helps you to get through the shift (they’ve got your back even if you did accidentally spill that drink over the woman on table 7…) and let’s be honest, I’ll be back for the job in the Christmas holidays when I’ve run out of money again…
Sources
http://www.suggestkeyword.com/Y2FmZSB3YWl0ZXI/
http://www.findmemes.com/toolmaker-memes