I give you just a few gems from my personal experience of playing about with the dating app phenomenon that is Tinder. [NSFW language].
1. This confused young gentleman.
2. If at first you don’t succeed, try again a few months later.
3. Locate your chill pls.
4. Short-lived romance
5. Went from 0 to 100 just like that.
6. The direction this chat-up line went in was entirely unexpected.
7. No hello, nothing.
8. Is Tinder really the place to promote your sweet acoustic sounds?
9. Kind sir, I have a few questions for you. 1) Why did you choose this particular method to approach casual sex? 2) Has any girl ever responded to this positively? 3) Perish.
10. A personal favourite – this lovely man was sweet enough to point out to me, just in case I forgot, that I am in-fact not white. Hop right into my bed, Sir, that observation deserves some casual sex.
11. Both repulsed and impressed by this line.
12. You can never un-see this. You’re welcome.
13. The kind of guy who would watch you as you sleep and rummage through your underwear drawer.
14. Creep level: Grandmaster.
15. Anyone who proclaims to be a sex freak has most likely not lost their virginity yet.
16. I’d rather not be your experimental guinea pig, hun.
17. I’m unsure if Tinder is the place to pay homage to fallen friends.
18. I gag a little bit every time I read that.
19. Move over Shakespeare, there’s a new bae in town.
20. No sir, we do not want what you’re selling. Good day to you.
21. Yeah because all I’m really interested in are your abs. I have no interest in knowing what your actual face looks like.
22, And then there’s this guy. The smileys were oh so necessary.