As talented actors and actresses often do, I have recently taken a plunge into something solely for the sake of my art (cough, writing articles for Her Campus).
Against my better judgment, I downloaded the ever so infamous app Tinder in order to see what it’s really like. I’ve seen many a hilarious screenshot of actual pickup lines used and profile pictures meant to impress the ladies, but this time I wanted to see it for myself.
2 minutes of downloading later, I logged in with my Facebook account and prepared myself for the adventures that awaited me in the mythical land of Tinder, where, of course, I was attempting to find true love (doesn’t everyone use this app for that purpose?).
First things first, I’m the realest the profile pictures that guys chose to use were of many (humorous) varieties. There was the classic selfie, the senior picture, the party picture (which usually included many women), the awkward mirror picture, etc. Being that these sort of weird dating/hook up apps should reflect the truest form of oneself, I chose to use a senior picture of mine because that’s how I always look: airbrushed to be flawless (also, Tinder makes you log in with Facebook and it just synced automatically, but whatever).
Me on Tinder
Me in Real Life
As I was trying to get the full experience of finding true love, I swiped right on the guys I superficially thought were attractive and swiped left on the others. Later, though, I just began swiping right on everyone because I thought that it was the more open-minded thing to do (and I was hoping for some great material).
Behold, the various attempts that guys used to try to woo me into their dehydrated arms.
Attempt #1:
Being the sparkling conversationalist I am, I asked all the questions I deemed necessary when looking for a potential mate with whom to spend the rest of my life with in my house-designed-to-look-like-a-castle with 2 kids, Usher and Camille.
Attempt #2:
I have a quirky sense of humor. I had to know if that would be compatible.
Attempt #3:
At first I took offense to this because I assumed he got scholarly from the fact that I was Asian, and not from my photo “montage,” which was actually just 4 senior pictures taken to make me look thoughtful and artsy. But then I just figured he was aiming for originality, so points were won for that. Also, cute dog in profile picture.
Attempt #4:
No time was wasted here. I like that. Time is money. I like money.
Attempt #5:
Probably because they were my senior pictures.
Attempt #6:
Agh! It’s too bad I lost my salt shaker because I don’t know where to put all this salt this guy was giving me.
I deleted my Tinder immediately after I gathered all of this golden material. It was fun while it lasted, Tinder gremlins!
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