Does anyone remember the character Blitz from HIMYM? Whenever he wasn’t with the Ted, Barney and the rest of the gang, crazy, memorable things would happen to them, and he would always miss out on an amazing time.
Even though Blitz’s case is highly exaggerated, I think we can all relate to the way he feels after he misses out on all the fun. How many of us have heard people say something along the lines of, “You HAD to be there?” This type of experience can lead to FOMO, or the fear of missing out. I imagine that many of us have experienced FOMO from time to time, even if we never hear about what actually happened at the thing we didn’t go to. FOMO can be purely hypothetical.
This fear can take many forms in college. There are so many lectures, extracurriculars, performances, parties, dances, trips, social events and opportunities to juggle, and no one could ever do all of them. The pressure to get the best grades, make lots of friends, go to the best parties, or to join as many activities as possible can be very overwhelming. We may worry that we’re choosing the wrong things to participate in or attend. What if we waste our college experience? What if we have no cool college stories to tell our kids someday?
Social media tends to blow our sense of FOMO out of proportion, worsening its hold on us. Facebook posts from our friends showcase the best times of their lives, all the cool events they went to, internships, job offers, vacations in the Caribbean, study abroad in Italy, etc. Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, and the like all contribute to the constant illusion that everyone else is enjoying awesome, fulfilling life/college experiences, and that we are not.
FOMO is something that has followed me throughout high school and college. For example, I did not attend any home games this year. I love thee Notre Dame, but I don’t find football to be much fun. It’s simply not been something that has ever interested me, so it made sense not to spend money on season tickets. However, as I passed my Saturdays watching Netflix or doing homework, I couldn’t help but feel like I was missing out on not only thrilling weekends but also on a beloved Notre Dame tradition. Sometimes I didn’t feel like a “real” ND student.
If FOMO is a constant fear in someone’s life, it can consume a lot of time through worry, social anxiety, and constant comparison to one’s peers. Ultimately, I think it stems from the fear of not fitting in academically or socially, such as at your college or school. The truth is that everyone feels this way sometimes, and no one has a perfect college experience or fully has their life figured out. More importantly, you are enough! No one’s self worth should be defined by which events they went to, or how “cool” or “put together” their lives seem in comparison to others.
I absolutely need to work on shaking the feeling of FOMO, but I think I’ve at least made some progress in realizing that I don’t have to do everything in order to having a fulfilling college experience. We should never have to attend events that we don’t have genuine interest in just to avoid the sensation of FOMO. We should always be true to ourselves and have confidence that in choosing to participate in some things and not others, we are still having a “genuine college experience”. Everyone’s experience is different, so let’s be happy for others’ good times or successes while recognizing that we don’t have to match anyone else’s lives in order to be happy or to enjoy our time in college.