Hi everyone! I hope you all had a wonderfully relaxing Easter Break, whether at Notre Dame, at home, or somewhere else! I know for most of us, having a few days off from school is a godsend. School is hard and can be super stressful! And the approaching summer break is even more exciting to look forward to!
However, I am not the same way. The truth is, I go a bit insane after more than a day off from school or work. I actually love being in school; I like having a structured schedule and a generally predictable day. Growing up, I was incredibly socially awkward and felt most comfortable in academics- AKA your typical nerd (yes, I was in band, the It’s Academic team, and even won a spelling bee- I was, and still am, mad nerdy).
Schoolwork, projects, theatrical productions, extracurriculars, and jobs keep me motivated and busy, and I thrive when I am properly busy. I also get to study music, my absolute favorite thing in the world, while at Notre Dame. Part of my rationale for grad school after Notre Dame is literally to stay in school as long as possible! Obviously, I want to improve my singing and musicianship, but I’m also attempting to hold onto the comfort of academia for as long as possible. After school, especially in the performing arts, life can be really unpredictable.
Sick days are especially punishing for me- not only to I feel physically down, but I also regret time spent not being productive. If I’m out for more than a day, I’m really in a bad mood. A few weeks ago I had a bad case of pinkeye and spent several days in my dorm- the cabin fever was real by the end of that time!!!!
Winter and summer vacations, while exciting on some level (I don’t love all of my classes- there’s a difference between fulfilling work and busywork), mean that I have to find several different ways to occupy my time, lest I go insane and drive my family crazy! This has happened far too many times in the past, especially if we take a week to go to the beach! Whether that means finding a job, program, or a long-term project to work on, I need to do something!!! As a kid, I secretly loved having summer math and reading because it gave me something productive to do!
I must seem like such a strange creature to like school or work so much, yet that is where I thrive! There are certainly disadvantages to this mindset, as I tend to identify too strongly as either a singer or a student and measure my self-worth via my achievements in those domains. When my voice doesn’t work, or if I’m not in school for whatever reason, I feel that a huge part of who I am is gone. I even dread retirement on some level and sometimes find it hard to know who I am outside of school or work. I still need to learn how to thrive beyond the classroom or the workspace, because I will not have either forever.
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