One of the most popular viral videos circulating on the Internet over the past few weeks shows a young woman, Shoshana Roberts, walking the streets of New York for ten hours and being catcalled over one hundred times. The video was created by Hollaback!, a nonprofit fighting to end street harassment. The fact that the video was created by an organization with an agenda has hurt the credibility of the video for some people. This is a valid point, but focusing on that allows people to miss the main message: whether or not this video is truly authentic, the woman in the video represents the everyday experiences of women around the world.
There have been many responses to the video, both positive and negative, and last Sunday, CNN broadcasted a segment that displayed insights from both sides. Comedian Amanda Seales and author and TV personality Steve Santagati discussed their views on the video. When asked how she interpreted the comments made by the men in the video, Seales said:
“This is not complimentary. Which is funny because I feel guys think that letting you know they would be interested in sleeping with you is a compliment, [but] actually it’s really just objectifying me when I’m trying to walk in my daily life.”
When Seales saw Santagati shaking his head, she said, “You are not an expert on this, my brother, because you are not a woman walking in the street, so you don’t know.” Santagati replied,
“No, but I’m more of an expert than you, and I’ll tell you why: because I’m a guy and I know how we think, more than you [girls] will ever know…. but I’m a guy and I know why these guys do this. The bottom line is this, ladies: You would not care if all these guys were hot. They would be bolstering your self-esteem, bolstering your ego. There is nothing more that a woman likes to hear than how pretty she is.”
The conversation continued for about five more minutes, but Santagati hit on one of the most basic misconceptions in his very first statement.
Catcalls are not compliments. For a woman, being called “mami,” being told she should smile more, even being told she is beautiful does not bolster her self-esteem when these comments are coming from strangers on the street. In fact, most of these “compliments” do not come from a place of benevolence or respectful admiration.
Think about it: How many times has a catcall actually resulted in the woman smiling, engaging in conversation with the catcaller, or sleeping with him? Although I can only speak based on what I’ve seen and experienced, I can say with conviction that the percentage of times that happens is very close to zero. It is not an effective way to pick up women; catcallers know this, but that’s not the point for them. The root purpose of catcalls is to make a woman feel like an object, to make her feel like her purpose is to look good for him, to make her understand that she exists solely for his pleasure.
Shoshana Roberts with a man who made the above comment and then followed her for five minutes.
What is most shocking about Santagati’s response is that instead of listening to a representative of the very demographic experiencing this harassment and taking a woman’s reaction as valid, he centers the conversation around the male point of view and then tries to speak for women. In saying that he is an expert by virtue of being a man, Santagati negates the opinions of women and implies that a man’s opinion is what is truly important.
Instead of simply explaining how men think, which could actually be a helpful addition to the conversation, Santagati tries to tell Seales—and all other women—that they should appreciate the compliments. He even implies that she is being shallow because she would appreciate it if the men were attractive.
When it comes down to it, catcallers and those who defend them fail to understand something very essential: when walking in public, women, like men, do not want to be bothered. It’s something that men never have to worry about, so naturally, it could be difficult for them to comprehend the issue. That is why this conversation needs to continue.
It is not about hating men or making it impossible for men to approach women. It’s about establishing the right for women to be respected in public.
If there are any men who still do not understand why catcalls are disrespectful, I would encourage them to ask a female friend about a time she has been harassed on the street. Hopefully her own personal experiences of objectification, and the resulting damage to her self worth, and will be enough to change his mind.
Click here to watch the CNN video.
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