Often, one is told to be themselves. But, that can be hard to do in a world that encourages us to conform in every possible way. As the Japanese proverb goes, the nail that sticks out gets hammered down. I have experienced this many times in my own life. I have always been regarded with confusion, if not dismay, because I stand at odds with societal norms.
I began to feel judgment after I cut my hair short. I did not do it to rebellion, but purely out of convenience. I also have a scalp condition and brushing my hair wouldn’t make it any easier to deal with. While I never expected everyone to like it, I immediately asked if I was lesbian, or people called me a man. So, while we as a society and generation like to consider ourselves open-minded, there is still an unfortunate linkage between a woman’s beauty and her hair.
I think many of us can remember a time when we wanted to do something, but didn’t because we feared losing approval from others due to societal expectations. What if people thought I was weird, would anyone like me? One girl I knew lost her boyfriend after shaving off her head in support of her mother who had cancer. There can be a price for going against what others believe you should be. But there is also a price to pay for making decisions to win approval. We end up feeling like frauds for allowing others to control how we live our lives. It can be scary at first; it was a big step for me. But once the pieces of hair fell off, I felt like a new woman.
It was the end of a long chapter decorated with dreadlocks, long hair and my pre-college years. The end of hermitage, and the start of a new appreciation for makeup, fashion and confidence in myself. Although some did not like my new style, it did not hurt my feelings. I did it for me, not anyone else’s approval. Many more knew I was still the quirky, talkative Nefertari they had always known. It was only my appearance, not my spirit, that had changed.