So you and your boyfriend have decided to stay together through college. You’ve said your goodbyes, planned your visits, and scheduled your video chats for the next week. You’ve heard the horror stories and remain confident in your relationship. And you’re probably sick of articles like this one about long-distance love that instruct you to Skype often, trust your partner, and keep the romance alive. But noticeably absent from those articles is the acknowledgment that you will spend time at college without your eyes glued to his face on a computer screen. You’ll go to parties, meet guys, and probably find yourself in some awkward situations. Here are some tips to help you navigate college life and have fun (it’s possible I promise!) while maintaining a happy, committed relationship with your long-distance sweetie:
1. Parties aren’t held just so people can find someone to go home with. Use them as opportunities to meet new, interesting people, but instead of speaking to a guy by yourself, be sure to have some friends around so that you’re not sending the wrong message. Or learn how to play “the game,” a party technique where two friends break off and get to know as many new people as they can before introducing their friend to all their new acquaintances. You’ll get to know a ton of new people, and by introducing your friend, your interactions will be friendly rather than flirty.
2. Always make sure you have one friend who will stay by your side until you’re safely back in your dorm. If your girlfriends all happen to be single like mine, have them alternate which one sacrifices their love life for the night to make sure you’re safe and having a good time. Without making a prior arrangement, you risk being left alone as your friends couple up and could leave yourself vulnerable to unwelcome advances.
3. Speaking of unwelcome advances, a lot of that has to do with the way you dress and present yourself at parties. If you’re not looking to meet a guy, don’t throw on your biggest push-up, shortest mini and highest stilettos. By leading guys on, you could find yourself in uncomfortable situations when it becomes apparent the intentions of you and your new guy friend are entirely different. Another way to avoid such advances is to make it immediately clear to the guys you’re talking to that you are off the market. If they don’t respect that, then they don’t deserve your attention.
4. On the topic of guy friends, be picky. For some guys, the news that you have a boyfriend isn’t going to stop them from trying to take you home, and the consumption of a certain substance doesn’t exactly help the issue. No matter how much of a good friend they can be, if they continue to flirt or make advances, their friendship isn’t worth complicating your relationship. There are guys out there who will respect your relationship status, even take on the role of protective older brother, checking your outfit and making sure you get home safely. Here at NU, I’ve already gained three new big bros. They’re keepers.
As a girl whose boyfriend is 500 miles away, making the decision to go out or stay in is much harder than that of your single friends. It can make you feel guilty, which leads a lot of taken girls to decide not to party at all. But it is possible to go out and have fun without any guilt, as long as you are aware of what’s acceptable and what’s probably not going to do any favors for your relationship. As sad as it might be to turn down an invitation to go swing dancing with your friends and their dates, when you Skype your long-distance sweetheart, you’ll realize that in the end, it’s all worth it.