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Thoughts Every Masshole Has While Driving

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Northeastern chapter.

“Well I was suppose to be at her house thirty minutes ago so I should probably leave now”

“Whoops forgot my keys…and purse..and phone…but I remembered my Dunkies ice coffee!”

“And there’s still snow and ice all over the road”

“Did a snow plow even drive through this neighborhood or did some guy shovel for five minutes and give up?”

“That car’s pretty far down I have room to pull out”

“SLOW DOWN ASSHOLE!”

“Jesus people don’t know how to freaking drive do they?”

“And of course the light turns red right as I pull up.”

“Hmm wonder what’s on the radio?”

“CUZ THE HATERS GONNA HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE!”“T Swift always knows what’s up”

“Finally a green light!”

“GREEN MEANS GO BUDDY!”

“Whoops forgot to use my blinkah”

“Why is there so much traffic on Elm Street?”

“Oh it’s all backed up because some idiot’s on his phone and blocked all the traffic”

 

“Ooh the Dunkin Donuts drive thru line isn’t too bad”

“No I can’t get more coffee I already had two cups today”

“Well a small cup won’t hurt”

“But I do have that project to work on tonight so I better make it a large… and get a box of munchkins too”

 

“No that’s cool buddy, just pull out on me without even using your blinkah. Jerk.”

“Of course he’s from New York and has a Yankees bumper sticker, you guys suck!”

“Is it too risky to send a Snapchat right now?”

“Ehh there’s no one in front of me I’ll be…Oh hey officer just adjusting the radio nothing to see here”

“Okay he drove past me I’m good. And I forgot to put my blinkah on again”

“Who is this asshole going 15 miles per hour in front of me. I got places to be!”

“And the guy behind me needs to chill, if he were any closer he’d be in the back seat”

“90% of the people that drive shouldn’t have a license”

 

“Whoops almost skidded into that snow bank, hope no one saw that”

“I’ve  been in the car for fifteen minutes and “Stay With Me” has literally played 4 times”

“Kiss 108 really needs to mix it up a little”

“Finally I’m here, and of course there’s snowbanks everywhere so no parking”

“If I could just squeeze between these two cars…got it!”

“I’m such a good driver”

 

 

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Lindsay Marum

Northeastern

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Morgan Weadock

Northeastern

Morgan is currently a third year at Northeastern University in Boston working towards a degree in Finance and a dual minor in Economics and Political Science. She is the co-president and Campus Correspondent for the Northeastern Her Campus Chapter and also involved with Alpha Kappa Psi and Streak Media. Morgan is originally from NJ and despite popular sentiment believes it to be the best state in the country. Her interests include cooking things that don't look as pretty as they did on Pinterest, reading while drinking tea, going to the beach, fitness and nutrition, and Netflix binging (: