Adorable, romantic, love, special day… these are all words and phrases that come to girls minds when they think about Valentines Day.
Heinous. The one word that pops in to your boyfriend’s mind. Sadly, you are the reason he thinks this.
Being the ‘Gay Bff’ has afforded me the rare opportunity to hear issues from both sides of my friends’ relationships. So rather than just agree with my friend about how awful, or amazing, their significant other is, I get to decide for myself who is right and wrong. And in this case ladies – ya’ll are in the wrong. Now in all fairness, not all of you have ruined the experience of Valentines Day for your man, but many of you have and are completely oblivious! So here are some helpful hints as to what you should avoid when it comes to the dreaded V-Day.
Do not be one of those girls that starts dropping Valentine’s Day hints the second after the ball has dropped on New Years. Yeah, sometimes your boyfriends likes to know that they are in the right ballpark when it comes to the gift he’s getting you, but they DO NOT need to know that you want the Return to Tiffany Heart lock Pendant if he likes you, but the diamond incrusted Heat tag Pendant if he really loves you. Lay off the hints – in America today Valentines Day is inescapable. He’s getting you something, now just relax.
Do not tell your best friends what you expect, want and-or dream of getting while secretly hoping they will somehow relay the message through their boyfriends to yours. Not only does that eliminate the excitement and passion that results from being surprised, but it also limits your man’s ability to be creative. It sends the message to your boyfriend that you don’t think the he cares enough, or knows you well enough, to pick out the perfect gift.
Appreciate whatever your man does for you. It means a lot when someone cares enough about you to spend their evening with you and takes the time to pick out (what they think is) the perfect gift for you. Remember that, and don’t judge the gift or date too harshly. Know that you are lucky to be loved, and go into the evening with that thought. Even if they seem calm cool and collected, men are incredibly nervous about Valentines Day. And regardless of what you & your girlfriends gossip about, your man is not as oblivious as he seems. He knows that this is the one day every year that he will be compared to every other man in the world based on his ability to be passionate, caring, and loving; all emotions society tells him to hide the rest of the year. So let him know that you appreciate what he has taken the time to do for you. Whatever you do, don’t bring up what other girls boyfriends are doing for them. You want to compliment your boyfriend, not make him feel inferior. And trust me, if you make your man feel confident in all that he came up with for the evening, that confidence will transfer to the bedroom later.
In the end Valentine’s Day is what you make of it. The day should be about your relationship. Even if your date doesn’t have the fairytale ending that you grew up watching in Disney movies, Valentine’s Day is about spending time with the guy you love, not putting insurmountable pressure on him. There’s no reason to be competing with your friends for who has the sweetest, most caring, boyfriend. So who cares if you get a dozen roses or go to the most expensive restaurant? In the end, that’s not the stuff that matters.
Side note: for all those ladies out there whose boyfriends think they are being clever by saying they aren’t doing anything for V-Day because they don’t believe in it, all the while planning a secret surprise. Give me their names, number, and a photo. I will track him down and slap him. I have seen way too many of my friends waste countless hours bitching and worrying that their boyfriend doesn’t really love them because he doesn’t want to do anything for Valentines Day. You men have stolen hours of my life. You NEED to be punished.