Meet Marnie the dog.
With her tongue always hanging out of her mouth, Marnie is basically the canine incarnation of Miley Cyrus, sans the obnoxious marijuana-clad unitards and obscene twerking. Once a rescue dog with matted hair and rotting teeth, Marnie is now living a #fab life with her new owner, Shirley Braha, in New York City, and is more Insta famous than any of us ever will be.
At the heart of Marnie’s cuteness lies her derpiness (I believe that is the scientific term). What contributes to said derpiness? Marnie’s owner explains, “The reality is Marnie just has a long tongue, and has always had a long tongue, and it’s awesome … and when it’s snowing she puts her tongue back in. Marnie’s eyes are the window to her soul, but much can be gleaned from the status of her tongue.” Marnie has also at one point suffered from vestibular syndrome which is why her (indescribably adorable) lil’ head always cocks to one side.
Her hobbies include going grocery shopping, meeting celebrities, getting brunch on Sundays, dressing up, and, of course, quite casually putting her head through various foodstuffs (see example).
Funny enough, the only time it’s not hard to wrap your head around something is, of course, when you don a tortilla on your cranium. I love this effortless look. Bonus points for color coordinating her jumper and head wear.
The way our main man, Darth, is sentimentally caressing Marnie here makes me feel like I’m about to witness some type of intergalactic canine baptism–wait for it–in a freaking baseball stadium.
She also loves trolling your neighborhood salad bar.
Here, she is throwing some major side-eye shade at Trader Joe’s.
Even dogs take couple selfies, apparently. By the looks of this pug’s killer impersonation of the Ice-Cube scowl, she must like macho guys.
I mean, I’d be pretty pumped, too, if my face were mere centimeters away from BREAD (!)
I honestly don’t know what’s more impressive–the fact that James Franco is taking a picture with #marniethedog or that #marniethedog got James Franco to wear a Pygmy sombrero. Either way, thumbs up all around.
Marnie taking a moment of silence for all the low-carbers out there.
Ed looks like he straight up made like Jacob Black and imprinted and fell in love with this little baby. I feel you, Ed. I can’t get enough of this dog.
Lastly, enjoy this video of Marnie’s adventure at a pharmacy in all of her blissful derpy glory.