Growing up I was never considered skinny or the “ideal” weight. Through my middle school and high school years this was a fact that constantly weighed (pun absolutely intended) on me. I was never good at sports, I would be out of breathe climbing one flight of stairs, and I always chose my clothes based on what could cover me up the best. To be honest, there was a time when I really hated my outward appearance because I wasn’t anywhere near the ideal type. Looking back now I’m upset that I wasted so much time and effort on something that really never mattered in the first place. My senior year of high school, I finally started coming out of my shell and accepting my body for what it was.
When I graduated high school, I was the most confident I had ever been. Now that I entered college I knew I wanted to avoid the dreaded freshmen 15 and to do this I decide to take up yoga at the NMSU activity center. Riding the high of confidence I had been on, I walked to my first yoga class with my head held high ready to take on anything. When I walked in all of that confidence seemingly vanished, it took one glance around the dimly lit room for the confidence I spent years building up to crumble away. I was surrounded by perfect, athletic women, everyone in the room, including the instructor, looked like they belonged on the front cover of a yoga magazine. Needless to say I was terrified, I felt like all eyes were on me and I could practically hear the snide comments. To make matter worse the only spot left was one at the very front, I nervously set my mat down and began to mentally prepare myself for the next hour. The second the instructor began to talk my fears began to ebb away, she described yoga as something that’s supposed to feel good for everyone and never a competition. She explained that while we may see the perfect media portrayal of yoga poses, in class, everyone’s pose is going to look different and that’s okay. The entire class was calm and filled with encouragement, all of the women were so sweet and the instructor was warm and supportive. In one hour I was able to calm down and actually enjoy a group fitness class, something high school me would have never thought possible. Since then I’ve been going to yoga every day and even trying some of the other group fitness classes.
What I’ve learned from this experience is that 1. Yoga is for everyone, no matter what anyone has to say and 2. The only ideal type me, or anyone for that matter, should be attempting to achieve is a healthy and happy one. I know saying is easier than doing, but give it a try. Take a class or practice at home if you’re more comfortable with that, do what makes you happy. I am still working on my confidence and self-love as are many other young women, and I know it’s not always easy but work on it. Whether it’s baby steps or long strides do something purely for yourself, it could be yoga for fitness or stress relief or maybe it’s something else entirely, just go for it! Give it a try, if you’re not a fan, move on to something else. Live your life by following your own rules, not anyone else’s. It’s your life, now go out and enjoy it!