Fake friends, how many of us have them? As we mature and grow to become the best versions of ourselves, many may notice that those who we considered friends, best friends and BFF’s start to “switch up” on us. You thought they had your back, you put your all into the friendship and what they do in return? Turn and stab you in the back! And you start to find yourself questioning their loyalty and you’re stuck trying to figure out where it all went wrong.
Well I’m here to tell you, that even though you may feel like the reason your friendships are falling apart is your fault, IT’S NOT.
Losing friends sucks and is just as hurtful and painful as going through a break up. Friendship is a form of a relationship and they aren’t always easy.
But sometimes losing certain people in your life can be the best thing that ever happened to you.
Having fake friends is not healthy and can hold you back from so much. But here are some things to keep in mind when you are going about handling the fake friends in your life and how to protect yourself from them. It’s time identify and eliminate the fakes and start living your best life!
YAKWTFGO: INTUITION
Let’s face it, everybody is not your friend. But let’s be real, you know deep down inside when somebody isn’t as solid as they seem. And a lot of the time we will trick ourselves into becoming content with fakeness and disloyalty by trying to be “understanding”.
You find yourself defending and making excuses for them just because they’re your friend, but deep down you know they got you BENT!
Don’t fall into the trap of giving people “the benefit of the doubt” because everybody doesn’t always deserve multiple chances to redeem themselves, especially when their actions are repetitive. When people show you who they are, believe them!
Let em know Wassup!: COMMUNICATION
A lot of the time, the reason people continue to do the trash things they do, is because they aren’t aware of how problematic their actions are. If someone hurts your feelings, disrespects you, makes you feel uncomfortable etc. LET EM’ KNOW!
The reason people feel like they can do and say what they please is because you allow it. You can’t be mad at someone for the things they do when you don’t do and say anything about it. It’s selfish of you to expect things to change without addressing the problem, and it’s never a good idea to assume someone knows how you feel especially if you haven’t said anything.
You have to have a BACKBONE! Not only in your relationships with people but in life. Don’t let the fear of hurting their feelings or offending them hold you back from expressing how you feel. Honesty is the best policy. If they didn’t take your feelings into consideration when they choose to act out, why should you?
If you allow people to walk all over you they will and if you don’t express how you feel, how will they know they did anything wrong? Communication is key; say what you mean and mean what you say. If they are a true friend they will hear you out, take responsibility for their actions and adjust themselves accordingly. BUT if they become defensive and don’t see anything wrong with the way they’re acting, don’t waste your time arguing your case, cut them off!
Time Means NOTHING: OBLIGATION
We all have those friends that we grew up with and have known for a long time. But as we get older, people change and drift apart. It’s natural.
But just because you’ve been friends since you were 2 years old doesn’t require you to continue the friendship after its run it’s course. It’s understandable to want to keep those who have been in your life the longest close, if not the closest to you, because of the history you both share. However, the reality is keeping people in your life despite their wrong-doings is toxic and you aren’t obligated to maintain the friendship if it’s just not working for you anymore. If the years of friendship shared meant anything to that person, do you think they’d think keep putting the friendship in jeopardy by acting a fool? The answer is NO.
Whether you’ve been friends for 3 weeks or 3 years, if they aren’t meeting your standards and doing their part in the friendship, it’s no point of letting the shenanigans continue. Time waits for no one and once it’s gone, it’s gone. Appreciate the good times shared, but respect yourself enough to walk away.
You over EVERYBODY: SELF LOVE
We all deserve to have happy and healthy relationships. But we have to take the initiative to make that happen. Sometimes we find ourselves compromising our feelings and actions because of our friend’s trash behavior. A person who loves themselves is not gonna allow someone they consider a friend to continuously mistreat and disrespect them. That is not being fair to yourself and you don’t have to stick around and deal with foolery if you don’t want to.
There is no reason for staying in friendships once they become toxic and draining. It’s pointless to stretch yourself thin trying to save a friendship that is already dead. Some friendships aren’t worth the fight especially if you are the only one fighting to save it.
No one is worth compromising your peace when you have full control over what you allow to cause you stress in your life. Friends should be making positive contributions to your life, not adding extra stress with negativity and drama.
AGAIN: Love yourself enough to know when it’s time to walk away!
“I’m Just too Much For You”: EVOLUTION
As you begin to process of evolution, you will start changing in ways that make people uncomfortable, especially your friends. You start developing different perspectives and grow out of certain behaviors and that can make people who have been around you for a long time feel some type of way. Friends may feel like that they know more about you than anybody else, and when you start to evolve, they’re SHOOK.
You’d be surprised how many of your “friends” are secretly jealous of you and try to sabotage you in ways you’d never imagine. And you never noticed how certain friends were stunting your growth, until you get away from them.
You hinder yourself from going to the next level by sticking around people you have simply outgrown; people who are no longer on the same level as you. That doesn’t mean that you are better than them or too good for them, you’ve simply outgrown them or are moving at a different pace, and that’s okay.
Real friends are going to support your growth no matter what, because they care and want the best for you. Fake friends, however, will become conflicted with the way you are changing and try to discourage you in mid-bloom, because they can’t handle the person you are becoming.
Change is natural. If you aren’t experiencing change that means you aren’t growing and that’s problem. When your friends start folding on you, it’s a sign that you are leveling up!
Keeping fake friends around can hinder you from becoming the person you want to be, Sometimes it takes losing friends to unlock your full potential and blossom into the women they tried to keep locked away. Fake Friends will drain you of all of your potential if you let them.
Yes, getting rid of bad friends is very uncomfortable especially when you thought they were a real one. But life is too short to be surrounded by people who don’t have your back. Don’t create blockages in your life just because you are afraid of losing friends. ANYTHING that has you compromising your happiness and peace cannot remain. Some people are only in our lives for a season and aren’t meant to follow us down different paths of life and that’s okay. The truth is the only person you can count on is yourself. Keep your circle TIGHT, watch out for the snakes and curve all the FAKES.