Hey Guys! So today I want to talk to you about something that I think every college student (whether female or male) should be careful about: going out alone. This year, I live by myself so when I go out, most of the time I meet my friends either at their place or wherever it is that we’re going. This means that there are a lot of times throughout my night that I could find myself alone, not sober, and in a bad situation. As a woman, we are always taught to be on guard, be careful, and never be alone. Personally, I think society should teach us from a young age that boys will not be boys, and that they will be taught not to roughhouse or that women should not think of themselves as princesses, but as strong warriors who can and should defend themselves. Unfortunately, we’re not exactly there yet (though I have hope), so in the mean time, here are some tools for you to use if you go out alone:
1. Mace: I know this seems a little far out there, but I honestly feel a lot safer than I do without it. I’m from New York City, so I know a little about how to handle men that cat-call. But there is a huge difference between walking in the city during the day and going to a party at night when people are drunk, and inhibitions are low. So I have this thing called “Spitfire Pepper Spray” from Sabre Red that I attach to my keys. No matter where I go, I always have it with me and make sure that it is easily accessible in case something happens. If I have a coat, I put it in my pocket or put it in my bag in a pocket without anything else so that the first thing I grab is my mace. It doesn’t release easily, so if you do throw it in your bag, it shouldn’t spray by accident.
2. Make sure people know where you are: This is something that I do if I’m going somewhere alone, no matter what. If I am going to a party on campus, I tell a friend where I’m going, when I plan to leave, the address (if I can get it before, or once I get there), and even the phone number of someone that I am meeting. I was talking to a few of my friends about what they do if they go out alone and one more thing they mentioned was that if you have an iPhone, you most likely have the app “Find iPhone”. If they can’t reach you or need to find you, this is a really easy way of checking in. This shouldn’t be something that you use only for going out at night. If you’re going out on a date with someone you don’t know, it may be a good idea to set something up before.
3. Be smart before you’re not: If you know that you’ll be drinking (or anything else for that matter), be smart about it before you’re not sober. Spend the day drinking lots of water and make sure that you eat; this way if you do drink you may not get as drunk and you’ll have a better time. While drinking, make sure to switch it up with water. This will also help in making sure you don’t get too drunk, and will help with the hangover in the morning.
4. Cover your drink: Be aware of your drink at the party, especially if you’re alone. Never leave it anywhere and always make sure you are covering your drink (put your cap on your bottle or your hand over your solo cup). It’s very easy, especially when you’re alone, for someone to distract you while someone puts something in your drink, so do the simple thing and protect yourself.
5. Plan to go home with a friend (knowing you may both be drunk): If you know you’ll be heading somewhere where you’ll meet a friend, make a plan to go home with them. I know this sounds like common sense and you’ve heard this a million times; or it may sound ridiculously stupid because you like to party and who cares about the consequences, right? WRONG. You will enjoy the memories (if you remember) of your fun night a lot more when you wake up in your own bed, knowing that you are okay. FOMO, or rather Fear of Missing out is something that I think a lot of students my age suffer from. Sounds ridiculous, but even yours truly has made some bad decisions because of this unfortunate social concept. So be smart and go home with someone you trust (or even better: is sober). As a woman, I would personally recommend a female friend, as I have had issues walking home from a party with a male friend. This is solely based off my experience, but it’s important that you all understand how serious this decision is for you. Do what you think is right for you.
6. Short and sweet: don’t accept a drink from anyone. When I mean anyone, I mean anyone: friends, boyfriend, girlfriend, social acquaintance, or especially a stranger. Again, may seem redundant but I wouldn’t be saying this if it didn’t keep happening. Get your own drink, save your life. This is one decision that can keep you from having a far worse night than expected.
7. If you can, learn self defense: I’m lucky because our school does offer a special self-defense class once a semester but it’s only for 15 students and it fills up fast. Unfortunately, I have yet to take part but I know a lot of friends who have taken it either at school or at home and they feel much more confident about themselves when going out. Luckily, none of them have reported having to use their awesome skills, but again, it’s better to be safer than assaulted.
8. Have the school numbers: No matter what college you go to, it’s always smart to have the numbers of your Campus Police office, counseling center and any other emergency networks that your school has. I, as well as my friends, have called my school’s campus safety office if I’ve felt too drunk to get home or even if I was sober and was afraid of walking home by myself. It may be awkward, because they know what you’re up to, but it will be more important to them (and should be for you) that you get home safely.
From a mental health perspective, using a few of these tools can help you have a good night without having serious repercussions. A lot of college students end up having serious mental health issues that will be with them for a long time, just because they had one bad night. That is all it takes. I do not feel that I am blowing things out of proportion when I tell you that by using any of these tools, you are saving yourself from a lot of pain. Simply covering your drink, you may have protected yourself from being sexually assaulted. By spending $20 on mace, you’ve saved yourself from a trip to the hospital. For many, choosing to meet up with a friend at the end of your night instead of going home with a stranger can be the key decision that saves you from waking up with no memory of what happened, in someone else’s bed, only to find out later that you have an STI.
Going out alone is scary, especially if it’s late, dark and you’re not sober. Do the smart thing and take the steps to make sure you’ll be safe and have a good time. I don’t think it’s that hard to do.
I hope you find this helpful! Next week, we’ll be talking about Flu season, why it’s important to get the vaccine and how to protect yourself from the spread of disease (#muhlenplague).