Unrequited love? A broken heart? Ultimate betrayal? Everyone has a different cure for these, but for me personally, nothing gets my mind out of a pit of love-ridden sadness like music. The following is an anthemic, female-led playlist that reaffirms how heartbreakers don’t deserve you, and fortifies your newfound independence. These songs range from you-deserve-better fury to forgetting about what’s-their-face entirely, complete with selected lyrics perfect for your future subtweets. Warning: may lead to an alone-in-your-dorm-room power jam sesh.
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“Since U Been Gone” – Kelly Clarkson
Lyric: “And all you’d ever hear me say, is ‘I just wanna be with you’ / I guess you never felt that way”
A stone-cold classic, no pop breakup playlist is complete without the mother of telling people they can eff off. It’s also ideal to watch the music video, where Clarkson completely trashes her ex’s high-end house, like you probably wish you could. Feel free to belt this one into your hairbrush while you’re at it.
2. “FU” – Miley Cyrus
Lyric: “Don’t even act like Mr. Super Nonchalant / What makes you think I’ll stick around? / I’m not as stupid as you sound”
For all her scandals and problematic behavior, I think we can all agree that this girl can wail. This is a good one for when your breakup is still fresh, immediately following the last straw that breaks the relationship’s back. Storm off to your room, bump this, and dramatically gesture at your imaginary ex in the room while lip-syncing as hard as you can.
3. You Oughta Know” – Alanis Morissette
Lyric: “And every time I scratch my nails down someone else’s back I hope you feel it”
If it’s cathartic fury you seek, look no further. Alanis opens the song by bitterly forcing herself to say she’s happy for her former man, right before absolutely ripping into him and his new lover. Bow to your queen of righteous indignation.
4. “Bust Your Windows” – Jazmine Sullivan
Lyric: “You’d probably say that it was juvenile, but I think that I deserve to smile”
Please do not actually crowbar the hell out of anyone’s car. This is more of a fantasy to play out in your head, picturing your betrayer’s face as they come out of their house and see the damage you’ve done. Mess with Jazmine Sullivan, she’ll mess you up.
5. “My Happy Ending” – Avril Lavigne
Lyric: “It’s nice to know that you were there, thanks for acting like you cared”
If you’re still a little sad about your new relationship status and in the wistful “what could have been” phase, our girl Avril totally gets you. Perfect for time-traveling back to the mid-2000’s, grab your air-guitar, black eyeliner and studded belts, and stick it to the man.
6. “Potential Breakup Song” Aly & AJ
Lyric: “Without me you know you’re lost, minus you I’m better off”
There’s a good chance these old-school Disney Channel queens were your first introduction into sassy, angry teen pop, instead of the usual upbeat bops you were used to TV stars churning out. These girls know their value, and they’ve determined that you’re not worth their time.
7. “Don’t Bother” – Shakira
Lyric: “She’s almost six feet tall, she must think I’m a flea / I’m really a cat you see, and it’s not my last life at all”
The theme Shakira puts out is very similar to the Alanis song, except for one thing: she’s over it. She’s still pissed, but knows she’s better off without someone who doesn’t understand that she’s Shakira and is, you know, basically perfect. But she’ll still probably run your car over with a bulldozer if given the chance.
8. “Every Time You Lie” by Demi Lovato
Lyric: “I woke up the next morning with a smile on my face, and a long list of gentlemen happy to take your place”
Subtle, sweet, and sassy, this song from when Demi was still a Disney darling is ideal for making direct eye contact with your former lover when passing them by, then tossing your hair over your shoulder (if it’s long enough) with an “as if I care” smirk.
9. “Merry Happy” – Kate Nash
Lyric: “Yeah you made me merry, made me very very happy, but you obviously didn’t want to stick around, so I learned from you”
For when you’re still getting used to your recent goodbye, but ready to evaluate your past relationship and figure out what worked and what fell through. Kate Nash is curt and to-the-point, not to mention the sweet “do-do-do da-do-do”’s you’ll be singing for another week.
10. “Single” – Natasha Bedingfield
Lyric: “I know I’ll settle down one day, but ‘til then I like it this way”
For when you’re ready to bang your fists on the table and shout “I don’t need no man/woman/gender-not-specified individual!” Not only have you finally acknowledged your single-dom, you’re welcoming your new lack of strings and couldn’t care less about finding someone new.
11. “Single Ladies” – Beyoncé
Lyric: No sample lyric needed. You already know how it goes.
Consider this your victory lap. Congratulations, you are now a fully-fledged single lady, ready to embrace your newfound freedom and conquer the dance floor with your girls. Ex who?