To my mom:
For us, our relationship has never been the seamless, mother-daughter best friend duo we’ve jealously viewed on the internet and in-person alike.
We both desired that close-knit relationship, but…
As I approached adolescence, our constant fighting and bickering, a result of our abstractly different views of the world, divided us. We fought more than we didn’t, and we disagreed more than we agreed.
I heard of girls who told their mothers everything, who confided every secret within her. I never could truly understand, as I felt my mom and I were so different.
Then high school ended, and I moved away my family for the first time. College approached, and I would exchange stories and experiences with others more than ever before, and my life was shifted into an entirely new perspective.
Days went by, and I recognized my mom’s absence, and I missed it. I had been so consistently in her presence for my life, that I hadn’t truly felt the ache of needing my mom. When I got sick in my dorm room, I thought of the thoughtless way my mom would bring me medicine or snack food. When I felt lost or hopeless, I missed the comfort her words could give me.
I started seeing what I had been blinded to the whole time.
The kind, considerate little things she did every day, just to make my life easier. The way she would make me breakfast on days I was running late. How she would pick up my favorite candy some nights when she ran to the store. How she would fold my laundry when it took me far too long to do it myself.
I was too blinded by my teenage angst to see the endless list of wonderful things my mom did for me on a daily basis.
Mom, I just wanted to let you know that I’m sorry if it took me too long to realize how lucky I am to have you. I’m sorry that it has been so hard for me to verbalize these thoughts and regrets. I am endlessly grateful that you’re the one who has raised me.
I now know why you’ve done everything you’ve done, and why you’ve tried to teach me all of those things.
You’ve taught me to love everyone and to treat everyone I encounter with kindness, and now I see how valuable that is. I am proud of my upbringing.
We have come a long way, and I am very happy that we are closer than we ever have been before.
All I want to do is make you proud and give back to you everything you’ve given to me. You’re a light to everyone around you, and you radiate nothing but kindness and positivity.
Thank you for your infinite patience with me, your continuous support and belief in my abilities.
I would not be the person I am today without it.