1. Two college guys riding a bro-ped together
It boggles my mind how two above average-sized men can successfully hop onto a motorized scooter and ride from Wells to their frat house. But, you know, I’m not here to question the laws of physics.
2. Freshmen sporting their sick lanyards by the neck
“Hey, bro! Check out this lanyard I got for FREE at Sparticipation! I’ll never forget my dorm keys again!” We’re happy for you… Really, we are.
3. The paper slip of doom between your windshield wiper and windshield
It’s not exactly ideal to get up in the middle of a 500-person lecture to feed the parking meter, but PACE has zero chill. Three minutes over the allotted time? Parking ticket. Starbucks line was longer than anticipated? Parking ticket. Used Comic Sans in an essay? Parking ticket.
4. Freshman squads of 20+ meandering Grand River
Apparently the entire second floor of Akers feels the need to hit-up a stoplight party on a Tuesday. All the power to you – except for the homegirl wearing red. I’m going to advise you to abort that mission.
5. RUSH *insert three Greek letters here* vinyl signs hanging off of frat houses
As much as I understand that you are dying to haze a new flock of teenage boys looking for acceptance and free vodka, I’m concerned with: 1.) What percentage of your annual dues went towards purchasing a sign of that magnitude, and 2.) How many people will truly rush Farmhouse because of it?