So fathers, be good to your daughtersDaughters will love like you doGirls become lovers who turn into mothersSo mothers, be good to your daughters too
“Daughters” by John Mayer
At the ages of 18-22, we college girls sometimes think we no longer need our mothers – or at least need them like we did in high school. Whether it’s her ‘words of wisdom’ we run from, or the fact we swear we don’t need her home cooking, we’ve all been there, denying the fact that her existence is probably the only thing keeping us in one piece on this planet. Since May is the month to celebrate mom, here’s a few reason why no matter how old we get, and how much we fight it, we really do need our moms, for these, and countless other reasons:
A Gentle Reminder that Punctuality is everything:
You hit snooze on your alarm and you need a shower and to straighten your hair. Forget the hair, hop in the shower quickly and be on time for your bus. Your mom can tell you first hand that it’s okay to don a ponytail two days in a row for the sake of punctuality on your first post-college job. Mom is the only one that can remind us, and make us feel better, that while beauty sleep is key, so is keeping your timeliness.
Educating Yourself is Important:
She supported your dreams of first being a rock star, then a scientist, and then liberal arts major. There is no bigger fan of each and every one of your endeavors than your mom, and there is no one that will support your education more than her. And not just the kind you get from a college degree and six figures worth of student loans. Your mom is the one to also encourage you to educate yourself on the things you want, not the things that will make you money. Sure your degree in political science will help with a career, but if you’re wildly interested in horticulture too, educate yourself on it. Mom will remind you that being a dreamer and running for senate is the best balanced combination to making yourself happy in life.
#Realtalk-Truthful Beauty Advice:
While a friend will support you and give you an accurate answer on whether you look hot or not, no one gives more straight answers than mom. Sure, it sometimes sets you back a little while when she takes one look at you and tells you that society will never respect what you’re wearing, but in the end – she had the right idea.
Proper bras are necessary, and so are finding ones that looks good under your clothing. The lime green Victoria’s Secret number won’t cut it on a job interview, and your mom is the only logical woman to reason with you that it’s best to save your money on buying a normal colored one instead.
Red lipstick is classy and applied wrongly can be trashy – proceed with caution. Your friends may tell you that the lipstick is not your color, but leave it to mom to figure out which shade does work for you (since we all can’t pull off the Taylor Swift red).
Tips on Love – or Lack Thereof:
Believe it or not, your mom dated before creating you, and whether she’s still dating now, divorced, married, or otherwise, at one point she was in your shoes, and chances are she had similar interests and patterns as you too. She was helplessly in love with a boy or wondering what she was doing so wrong that every other girl on the planet seemed to have found their ‘soul mates’ already. She’s full of a lot more advice then you realize, and it’s not all outdated information that you can’t relate to because you’re not a product of the 80s.
She’ll be there when a man breaks your heart or when your first real adult relationship blossoms and your friends are tired of hearing you gush about it. Your girlfriends may be the ones to buy you drinks and chocolate cake to ease the pain, but it’s mom that will be there, at every step, to build you up, listen, and love you – no matter how much you cry or ramble.
Learning to Love YOU – No Matter What:
You don’t need a man to complete you; and you should have one to compliment the beautiful woman you are on your own. Be a strong woman, work for your money and make yourself happy. Sometimes mom is the only one who reality can check us on that. (She’s also going to side with your girl friends that if you order two breakfast meals on your first date, because you’re starving and a little hormonal and he can’t handle it – he doesn’t really deserve you).
It’s okay to make mistakes:
Your mom made mistakes as a teenager and a girl trying to figure out being a woman in the real world, and I’m sure if you were to delve into her secrets, she may have some regrets too. But it’s okay. You’ll learn from your bad decisions, just like she did, and turn out okay in the end. And when there’s pain and a need for hug like only mom can give, that’s what she’s there for.
So as we grow up, and grow old, we may not have the same relationship with our mother’s like we used to: where she dropped us off at school with a brown paper lunch box, and then greeted us at 3pm with a smile and a cookie as we babbled on about our day. But she’s still there. When at 2 AM we call her for advice on a boy, or meet up with her for lunch at a place you frequented as a child because you’re feeling homesick and need to catch up.
The reality is: our mothers are the women that are our back bone, our driving force, and without them, we couldn’t be the women we are today. They are the girls, turned women, who inspire us to be our best selves. To push ourselves on their behalf because we want to make them proud of us. To show them that in some cases, we are better than them, to carry on the family name (and determination) and to let them know that we’ll always be their little girls.
To our moms, love your daughters at Her Campus Montclair.
To my mom, for everything you’ve ever sacrificed and shown me. For all of the love and support I’ve always gotten. And for dealing with all of my ups and downs and never wavering in your advice, praise, or patience – something I know I’ve tested since day one. To quote your favorite author, and one I’ve grown to love because of you “A mother would have been always present. A mother would have been a constant friend; her influence would have been beyond all other” (Jane Austen). You’ve been my best friend, my best source of influence, and my most reliable ally. You are my inspiration and my stronghold, and I would be lost and a mess without you. I love you always.
Imani & her mom:
“Despite our differences, I know that if in my lifetime I turn out to be even half the woman that you are, that’ll be more than enough for me to know that I lived a good one.”
Jennifer & her mom:
“Daughter’s need their mother’s because they are the ones that show them how to act like a lady. All the awkward and uncomfortable questions that young girls have, they go to their mothers for answers. I go to my mom about everything, she is always there for me. My mom has taught me so much this far in my life and whenever I do get married and have kids of my own, I want to be the same type of mother to my children, that my mother was to me. Mothers have such a caring vibe and are extremely supportive! I know that my mom always wants the best for me and she loves all of her children so much! I love you, Momma! Happy Mother’s Day!”
Dimitra & her mom:
“Gentle as the sweet magnolia. Strong as steel, her faith and pride. She’s an everlasting shoulder. She’s the leaning post of life. She hurts deep and when she weeps. She’s just as fragile as a child. And she’s a sparrow when she’s broken. But she’s an eagle when she flies.”
Lindsey & her mom:
Tanya & her mom: