I’m going to be completely honest, I’ve never had anyone love me romantically. Yet, people do come to me for relationship advice. (They say I give great advice, hence why I am going into psychology.) So, although I don’t have any personal experience with love and relationships, I definitely have some insight from having had a front row seat to others.
Chemistry is Important – But Not Everything
Meeting “the one” (even if it’s temporary) tends to be the most memorable part of the relationship. When you lay eyes on your one, you’re suppose to feel chemistry. But just because you have chemistry with someone does not mean they are the elusive one. I’m not saying you shouldn’t feel any type of chemistry at all, but if we relied solely on chemistry the world wouldn’t have real long lasting romantic relationships, it would just be hookups. Usually when someone has chemistry with someone else their first thought is to test that chemistry by kissing – or more. Hookups are a trial and error situation; you have them and you learn from them. But I think sometimes the best relationships can start off with a person you didn’t have automatic chemistry with. Getting to know the person and hearing a little of their life story is what should spark the initial attraction, not how soft their lips might be. After that, you’d be surprised to see how much chemistry can develop.
Be Open
There are billions of people in the world at this very moment looking for love. It’s a hard pill to sallow but you can’t find love, love has to fine you. The moment you stop thinking and stressing about it is when something interesting happens. And when that interesting moment happens, be open. He or she might not be what you pictured, but they could be the exact person you were looking for (and needing) on the inside.
They’re Your Support System, Not Your Fixer
Once people get into a relationship I notice couples tend to get a little too attached. Your boyfriend or girlfriend is not your personal superhero. They are not with you to fix your problems and save you from everything. They are your support system and your cheerleader. You should want to fix your own problems, be your own hero. Never rely on anyone for happiness in your life but yourself.
It’s Okay to Walk Away
Long lasting relationships tend to be the goal that most want to reach. Some are lucky enough to be involved in one or even a couple. But being with someone for 3 or mores years and leaving is okay. Just because the relationship ran its course doesn’t mean you can’t be with someone else. I agree getting to know someone new and starting over is scary but doing what’s right for you in the end is the key to achieving your true happiness.
Don’t be Afraid to Fall
Falling in love is a beautiful thing, but it’s also one of the scariest things we ever go thourh. Trusting someone completely with your body, emotions and thoughts is a big deal. If falling is what’s keeping you from being happy then I say take the risk and fall. I pray that you will be caught, but if it just so happens that you’re not, pick yourself up, cry about it if you need to, make yourself up, and go out into the world and slay.