During the first semester of my freshman year of college my dog died. My parents didn’t tell me the horrible news until a week after it happened. I was in the middle of midterm exams at the time and they knew I would be extremely upset and distracted if I had known. The same thing happened to Ryan Schocket. His parents hid that his dog had died for a month so that he could focus and not become homesick or depressed while away at school.
As a high school student you constantly hear about gaining the dreaded Freshman 15 and are warned about the possibility of getting sexiled by your new roommate — two situations that will most likely actually happen, BTW. But there are certain unfortunate events, like your beloved pet back home dying while you are thousands of miles away, that no one really ever warns you about.
Schocket, a senior at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, transferred schools after having a not-so-great freshman year. The unreal situations he found himself in and the emotions that he felt prompted him to write The Good, The Bad, & I’m Ugly? at age 19. The books serves as a collegiate “Ned’s Declassifed School Survival Guide” if you will, reminiscing on face-palm worthy moments as a underclassman while also providing thoughtful and sound advice.
In The Good, The Bad, & I’m Ugly? Schocket describes situations that go beyond the inevitable weight gain struggle and dorm room hook up horror stories that are an inevitable part of the freshman year experience. He shares the stories behind frat party, solo-cup-holding Instagram photos and the peer-pressure-to-party mentalities.
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In The Good, The Bad, & I’m Ugly? you discuss, and embrace, some super embarrassing experiences — which is extremely comforting to read when you’re a person like myself who is constantly in horrific, unreal, face-palm worthy situations. Were there any stories or bits of information you were on the fence about sharing in the book? Why or why not?
It’s so funny, because while I was writing the book, I wasn’t at all reluctant in sharing these personal details about myself. I’m an oversharer. I always have been. It might come from me being obnoxious, or from me thinking I’m more important than I am.
But once I put the book out there, there were instances where I started to feel slightly uncomfortable. When a former teacher, boss or friend’s parent would message me, referencing a chapter where I woke up in a bush, or one where I talked about having diarrhea, I would say to myself, ‘Really? Did you have to put that in there?’ But when it came to insulting my parents and brother — and myself — that was never something I shied away from. It was definitely indispensible.
If I had to choose one, I would say I was a little unsure about publishing the “Mom, don’t read this” chapter. Also, I became an assistant editor for The Daily Tar Heel this summer, and my bosses, Paige and Sarah, got the book. So having my superiors read all these horrific, private things was really a great way to establish my credibility in the workplace.
You changed names (of people, schools, places, etc) in the book. How did you navigate telling your friends that you wrote about them? What were their initial reactions?
Oh god. It was so dramatic. Some people were cool, like ‘Charlotte,’ the girl whose astronomically large forehead was a favorite to make fun of. I sent her the page where I introduced her and she started dying laughing and said, ‘That is literally me!’ A lot of my friends were like, ‘Yeah, I already knew that story, and that one,’ so they were cool. Basically, when I went to most of my friends with the idea of the book — which was when I was essentially done — they just wanted names and identifying details changed. Some weren’t as happy.
After your friends read the book how did they feel about it? Did you receive any repercussions for stories you told or things you revealed about them?
I pissed a lot of people off. Some have forgiven me, and some have kinda gotten over it. Everything in that book is a joke, and if you’re taking any of it seriously — besides the parts when I’m a little histrionic — then you’re reading it wrong. But, yes, there were repercussions. I got cursed off a few times, which was amazing. I love everyone I talked about in the book, besides the homicidal stalker. And the Satanists that had sex to the rhythm of my name.
Also, how did your family feel about it? There is a chapter specifically marked “Mom, please skip this chapter.” — did she?
My parents loved it. My diminutive little dad read it all in one night, and I don’t think he’s read more than two books in his life. So proud of him. My mom cried — tears of happiness. They also were like, ‘You used to really drink a lot.’ Yes, my mom read the masturbation chapter; she didn’t skip it, like I told her to. My 75-year-old Aunt Carol read the book and loved it too. A lot of friends and family were like, “ARE YOU OK?”
Have there been any reactions that you didn’t expect?
Yes. These are the best. People will send me private information through email, texts or Facebook, and they’ll tell me a funny or embarrassing story about them. And a lot of people have reached out to me and said that the book made them feel less alone, which was the reason I wrote it. When people say that, I love it. Also, I am really nosy, so I enjoy hearing about what they’re going through.
You haven’t finished college yet (graduating in May— woo!) so why did you decide to put this book out while you were still in college instead of afterwards and reflecting on your entire experience? Will you write a second book about college life after your transfer to UNC?
I started writing for UNC’s transfer blog. It was a way to write and attempt to make friends with other transfer students. So, I had this column-y thing, called “Awkward Encounters.” I would write about these horrible things that would happen to me, and I would make fun of my parents and friends. The usual. But, I couldn’t curse and I couldn’t talk about drinking — which I love to do. I had to keep it very G-rated. Anyway, people would come up to me and tell me that I should consolidate these stories. So, I just started writing the then-untitled “The Good, The Bad, & I’m Ugly?”, where I didn’t have to hold back. And I guess I didn’t want to wait until after, because when you’re 19, and you’re writing a book, you’re like let me share this with anyone who might care ASAP!
I would love to write another book soon. I have plenty more stories to share, and I’m working on new insults for people everyday.
What advice do you have for college students who want to write a book? What is the process like? Was it hard to balance classes, work, writing, etc?
Only tell a few people you’re doing it. Ask for advice. I showed my friends Kim and Sarah the original formatting and they straight up told me, ‘These bold, red-letters are disgusting.’ Also, my advice would be to separate your writing from your schoolwork. Ignore the academic quality of writing. Try not to think of it like homework. That’s what I did. At the time, I was taking six classes, so I wrote as a way to reward myself, so I wouldn’t think of it as tedious and taxing. I honestly loved writing it. There’s a lot of bullshit afterwards that sucks, like editing, formatting and repercussions of shittalking.
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“The Good, The Bad, And I’m Ugly?” is available on Amazon.
Be sure to follow @RyanSchocket on Twitter and Instagram.