*****CONTAINS SPOILERS*****
1. Hannah is in print
That’s right, our girl was published in what the audience assumes is the New York Times. The final season of “GIRLS” on HBO opens with a montage of all the main characters reading her piece and reacting in character. Of course Ray would find a typo and call the piece “sloppy”.
2. That Shailene Woodley reference
Chelsea Peretti’s (Brooklyn Nine-Nine) character gives Hannah an assignment to go to Montauk and write about the bored, rich women who attend surf camp. Hannah then explains she read that “Shailene Woodley likes to go to a private area, open her vagina, let the sun in, and that’s how she gets her glow.” Fast forward about ten minutes later and Hannah is doing just that on her balcony. This made me wonder if people (Gwyneth Paltrow) really did this. Are nude beaches legal in the United States?
3. Marnie & Ray
Say “baby” one more time… weirdos.
4. Ray & Shoshanna
After Marnie basically kicks Ray out of her apartment, he decides he can’t be a part of Adam and Jessa’s love nest either—they low-key kicked him out anyway. Him staying with Shoshanna is kind of everything. He knows her and she knows him but they don’t know how much they know each other. Picking up what I am putting down? SORRY MARNIE, BUT DID YOU REALLY THINK RAY WOULD DRINK YOUR CORPORATION COFFEE??? HE WORKED FOR A BROOKLYN-BASED COFFEE SHOP!
5. Adam & Jessa
I hate you both.
6. Andrew Rannells as our Elijah
“He was that annoying boy who was always gaining and losing weight for a role and the role was always chorus. That’s who takes class, Marnie, your dumb friend. That’s who takes f***ing class. I am gonna f*** my way to the middle!” Oh Elijah, you and your orgys.
7. Riz Ahmed
Is that the guy from Star Wars? HELL YEAH. GET IT HANNAH . . . wait why is he doing THE SEX like that? He makes up for it later on with their steamy make out sesh with the waves breaking over them. BUT, WTF is this whole manic pixie boy thing? We get it, you travel and surf and are in an open relationship. We can humanize him during his reflection on the beach when he says he wanted to be “anything his dad wasn’t,” but everything after that kind of goes downhill. (More on this in number 10)
8. Hannah’s dancing
It’s nothing new that Hannah is pretty secure, even though she constantly plays the victim. How else would she be able to dance like that? Was she okay?
9. Marnie & Desi
We all knew this would happen but we all hoped it wouldn’t. Another manic pixie boy or just a hipster? Is there a difference? Can you be a hipster wannabe?
10. Hannah trying to be “chill”
So as we know, Riz Ahmed’s character, Paul-Louis, has a girlfriend. Like most women, Hannah is shocked and becomes upset. This all comes out because Hannah wants to stay in town and get to know Paul-Louis more and I don’t know about you but I am tired of her making guys her priority. Paul-Louis is obviously a vacation-bang and she doesn’t see it. It doesn’t help that he is so out of touch that he can’t articulate that she straight up should not stay because his girlfriend eventually will show up. Unlike her character in the past though, she quickly decides to be cool with the situation and go with the flow by saying, “why get mad at fun, right?” I don’t see this lasting though. WRITE YOUR ARTICLE, HAVE SOME VACATION SEX, GO HOME. Not everyone is Kevin Jonas and meets the love of their life on a vacation.