We’ve all been there, in that situation where you feel like you could go all the way but that little voice in your head stops you before anything more than PG-13 happens. Partially because you would prefer to not lose your virginity on a smelly couch in a frat house. But partially because he doesn’t know that you would be losing your virginity. Here are some scenarios that can hopefully help with telling that special (or not so special) someone that you haven’t gone all the way quite yet.
Scenario #1: You are seeing someone and thinking about having sex. If you honestly feel like you could see a future with this guy and want to go further, then I say have “the talk” with him. “The talk” questions where you see the relationship going and all that fun, not-awkward-at-all stuff. In the end, you’ll be glad you had it because it’s always better to know that before you lose your virginity.
Scenario #2: You have no interest in having sex in the near future. You really like this guy but aren’t ready to have sex yet. That’s totally fine and a lot more common that you would think. My suggestion: Tell him straight up. That way, you can find out sooner rather than later if he’s interested in more than just sex.
Scenario #3: A guy asks you out and expects you to jump his bones on the table of the restaurant. Sex on the first date is totally normal for some people. Sex upon first encounter is probably an even more common occurrence. If that’s you, more power to you. But under no circumstances should you ever feel pressured to have sex with a guy because he had the courtesy to ask you out. If this happens, then don’t feel obligated to tell him you’re a virgin. That’s personal information and, honestly, this guy probably isn’t worth your time.
Ultimately, losing your virginity is your decision and done on your terms. And deciding when to tell him you’re a virgin is also done on your terms. If you want to wait until you’re 30 and married then that’s great. If you’re 16 and think you’ve found the right guy, then that’s equally just as great. Just remember to take the necessary precautions and to use protection!