When we think about the word ‘culture,’ we think about a society’s traditions, their holidays, the way they live their lives, etc. However, if we add a word and create “rape culture”, it becomes a little confusing. We don’t think of rape as a part of society, do we? Is it a tradition? A lifestyle?
No, of course it’s not. But rape culture is the way that we, as society in whole, view the act and idea of rape. Too often, ‘rape’ is a word that is thrown around trivially, not taken seriously or not really thought-out. It’s the type of thing that causes people to think that, ‘yeah, it happens, but it won’t happen to me.’ How can we know that, though? Rape might not be something that we can predict or stop, but it is something that we can be more considerate of.
This article is in no way an attack on anyone, or an accusation that you’re encouraging rape culture purposely. It’s point is to open your mind to the ways that you might be instigating it, and hopefully make you more aware of how to stop it.
We see rape culture all the time. It’s in the media, it’s in the way that we talk to women, and it’s in everyday conversations that we have with each other. All the time, we hear songs on the radio that describe a woman telling a man she’s not interested, but then having him convince her to have sex with him. If there’s a line that says that her mouth says no, but her eyes say yes? That’s rape culture. If the singer is telling a woman that he knows she wants it? That’s rape culture. This may not seem like such a big deal because it’s just a song, but lines like that insinuate that it’s okay to treat people the way that the women in these songs are being treated. If a woman or a man says no to sexual advances, then that should be the end of the story. Unfortunately, though, it’s usually not.
We also see rape culture all the time in the way that people speak to their children. Women are told to dress more conservatively, to hide their bodies, to be more careful. However, men aren’t told to keep their hands to themselves. They aren’t told while they’re growing up that they shouldn’t rape people. The most common phrase we hear is “don’t get raped.” So why aren’t men being told, “don’t rape?”
You also might be participating in rape culture in the conversations you’re having with her friends. Have you ever heard a rape joke? I know I have. What about telling a friend to be careful if they’re walking at night? Do you say, “be careful,” or do you go on to say, “don’t get raped”? I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard that said. The thing is, people aren’t normally being serious when they say that. They say it as a joke, as people put themselves in that mindset that it won’t happen to them, like mentioned above. Next time a friend says something along those lines or tells a joke that includes rape, let them know how insensitive they’re being. Rape is a real thing that happens to real people, and joking around about it is a way of saying that you don’t really care.
Once your eyes are open, you’ll start noticing signs of rape culture all over. It’s in tv shows, movies, commercials, posters, and so many more places. Instead of letting yourself look past it, start speaking up and defending victims. If you hear someone say that a rape victim was ‘asking for it’ or that they’re just ‘making it up for attention,’ speak up and show them that if they are not the victim, then they don’t get a say in the matter.
If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, it’s never too late to reach out. Call 1-800-656-4673.