I am pretty open about my mental illness. I have Dysthymic Disorder. Dysthymia is defined by Mayo Clinic as “a low mood occurring for at least two years, along with at least two other symptoms of depression.” Some of symptoms include lost interest in normal activities, hopelessness, low self-esteem, low appetite, low energy, sleep changes, and poor concentration. You can see how some of these symptoms will probably effect how a person performs in college.
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I have felt pretty low for a long time. I would go through phases of not being able to get out of bed. I would skip classes, call out of work, not do anything. This has gone on for as long as I can remember. I remember being in high school and never wanting to go to school but could never explain why. These feelings continued into college. I started college at Delaware County Community College (DCCC) in 2011, one year after graduating high school. My few years there were hit and miss. One semester I would do very well. The next I wouldn’t even be able to finish. I started this awful cycle. There was nothing I could do about it. I transferred to West Chester University in 2013. I had pretty good feelings about WCU, but I fell back into that same cycle. I finished a semester then I did awful the following semester. I decided not to go back.
About 2 years ago, I started seeing a new doctor. I had mentioned to her how I was feeling and some of the things I was doing. She prescribed me an antidepressant and encouraged me to see a therapist. I gladly took the antidepressant. I, however, procrastinated seeing a therapist. I went back to DCCC and tried to get through again. But, you guessed it, I fell back into the cycle of not finishing semester.
In May of 2016, I finally made the call to a therapist. I was so tired of feeling awful and not being able to finish anything in my life. I cannot express the amount of relief I feel everyday because I finally had the courage to make that call. In the few months I have been meeting with my therapist, I have overcome so much. October is usually the month where things fall apart for me. I become very overwhelmed with the amount of assignments and exams that happen all at once. This semester is becoming a turning point in my life. I now have coping skills that help me everyday. Whenever I am feeling overwhelmed I take a step back from my current situation and breathe. Big deep breaths. I am instantly relaxed and am able to think clearer.
Another thing that has helped tremendously is making lists. I was always a list maker, but now I list everything. I start big with monthly lists: what do I want to get done this month? Then I will break it down to weekly lists: what can I get done this week? And finally I make daily lists of the things I can accomplish that day. I also discovered a new way of thinking with the help of my therapist. I am more positive. When something negative happens I chose to look at it as an experience and what can I learn from it. I still have my low moments, I still have those phases of not wanting to go to class. The difference this time I that I can have the low moments and leave the low moments behind. I can move on, I no longer dwell on what I’ve missed in class. I get up and go back to class. If I can do it, you can, too.
I hope after reading this, you can take away that it is possible to make it through college with a mental illness. If you are struggling with your own burdens, know you don’t have to shoulder them alone. Never hesitate to seek help from your friends, your family, an on-campus counselor, or even me. You deserve the best, collegiettes, so start by taking care of yourselves. HCXO.