What advice would you have for new students?
Bri: Get involved. Don’t go home every weekend. Break out of your comfort zone & meet new people. College is a fresh start. It’s the beginning of a ton of independence and really finding yourself as a young adult. Find new hobbies. Make memories. At the beginning, four years seems like such a long time, but once you really get into your college career, you realize it goes by so fast. [I can’t believe it’s already October]. College are the four years where you not only learn a lot academically, but you learn a lot about yourself and the people around you. Don’t let anyone hold you back. It’s hard to think about, but the people you know now and the people you consider to be friends now might not still be there next semester, next year, next week. Some of them will, but not every single on of them. Study hard. The minute you start to slip up, it’ll avalanche and it’s so important to stay on top of your schoolwork. That being said, it’s equally important to remember to have fun and keep yourself in check! Make sure you’re happy with your decisions and there’s nothing wrong with a mental health day every once in a while to keep yourself sane.
Robbie: College is a person’s best chance at self-discovery in so many areas of life. Figure out what it is that you’re passionate about, and chase after it. Get involved with different organizations that interest you. Be open to meeting all kinds of new people and making new friends. Like Bri said, you have to learn to step outside of your comfort zone. Stay on top of your studies, and if you ever have a question about anything concerning academics, GO TO YOUR ADVISOR OR PROFESSOR’S OFFICE HOURS. They have them for a reason. Work hard and stay organized, but never hesitate to take a day or just some amount of time to clear your head. Use that time to either nap, watch a movie, go to the gym, go for a walk, write a song or a poem or a journal entry. Also, don’t get too caught up in what everyone else doing. You do you, and do it with conviction.
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With college parties, comes drinking. As someone who isn’t comfortable putting herself in situations where that’s involved, what are other ways I can still be social and meet people?
Bri: This is kind of stereotypical. There are plenty of other ways to meet people outside of the party scene. Join a club! A lot of majors have clubs that relate to them, or you could even join something that you don’t know a lot about and want to get into. If you live in the dorms, meet people in your hall, or other floors. Classes are a great way to meet people. Have a study session with some kids from class. Want to get to know someone? Go grab a bite to eat. If you’re friendly, chances are others will respond the same.
Robbie: Join clubs inside and outside of your major. Plan study sessions with people in your classes. Go to the gym with a friend. Go out and grab food or coffee. If you and an acquaintance or friend share a hobby (photography, writing/playing music, sports, etc.) go out and do those things together. Contrary to what they show in movies, college isn’t all about drinking and partying, and the people who choose not to do those things aren’t lame.
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I’ve recently broken up with my long term high school boyfriend and want to move on but don’t know how.
Bri: First, surround yourself with positive things. Whether it be friends, pictures of home, movies, things you love. Find the things that make you happy & use them to your advantage. Next, it’s hard but deleting him from your facebook friends helps. Seeing his updates and knowing you can creep his page any minute isn’t going to help you get over it. Maybe down the road you guys can be friends, but for right now, it’s best to cut him out of your life for the time being. Now find your friends and just have fun. Watch movies, go to dinner, go shopping, whatever it is, just have fun. Laugh and smile and it’ll get easier as time goes on. Don’t move on until you’re 100% that you’re ready. Rushing into a relationship won’t make it any easier and might actually make it worse. It’s okay to get upset, a long term relationship is a serious thing and you’re not expected to get over it over night. These things take time, just be patient and in due time, you’ll be ready to move on and meet someone new.
Robbie: I always say that being single is good time to figure yourself out. Take up a new hobby or discover a new band that doesn’t remind you of your ex. Sometimes those 2 things can go hand-in-hand. I have a friend that was with a guy for 3 years who dumped her 2 days before Christmas. She later started learning how to play the banjo. It didn’t remind her of him, and she also was also getting into Mumford & Sons. Like Bri said, deleting him out of your phone or off of your facebook would be a good step as well. Whenever you’re on there you’ll be tempted to check out what/how hes doing. Regardless of what you find, it’s not going to make you feel better. Take time to form deeper connections and bonds with your friends. Keep your head up and a smile on your face because you’re way prettier that way. Don’t put yourself out there or seek another relationship until you feel the time is right. You’ll know it in your heart when its right. If you’re upset, its okay to be. No one should expect you to be over it overnight. Take your time to be upset, but don’t let it hold you back from carrying on with your life.
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This guy & I have been texting nonstop since we met at a party last weekend. All of a sudden, he’s completely stopped responding. I feel like it’s my fault, but I don’t know what I did wrong. What should I do? What does this mean?
Bri: This is a tough situation. I can’t say why he stopped talking or what it means exactly but I can make guesses. Sometimes when people are afraid of confrontation, they just “fall off the planet”. He could be afraid that you’re looking for something he isn’t, or maybe he just got bored. It’s hard to get in his head and really give a definite reason. He might not have a reason. Just wait for him to talk to you. If he wants to talk to you, he will. That being said, don’t sit around and wait. Don’t limit yourself or hold back because you’re waiting on him. If he wants you around, he’ll make the effort. If he doesn’t try, then move on. There’s plenty more fish in the sea.
Robbie: 1) Take a step back 2) Take a deep breath. 3) Say “It’s not my fault.” In a situation like this, if you don’t know what you did wrong, chances are you DIDN’T do anything wrong. Sometimes its the person themselves. They don’t know what they want and they get afraid of leading you along so instead of “manning up” and telling you that, they run away. Don’t chase after him or bring up or text/call him about it. Wait for him to come to you. If he cares as much as he appeared to; if he wants to talk, he will. Remember, you’re still single as well. You’re not bound to any commitment with this guy. Don’t wait around for him to talk to you. It just means that he’s either not ready/doesn’t want to rush things, doesn’t know what he wants, or just sucks at communicating.
Need advice from Bri & Robbie? Submit your question on their Formspring (meaning your identity will be completely anonymous!) and check back every week for answers!