As my freshman year of college is coming to a bittersweet close, I find that I constantly reminisce on where I was at this time in my life last year. I was a different person back then, extremely scared and unsure of where my life was headed during that time. So much has changed for me since I was a senior about to embark on the beginnings of my college journey. As my life around me changed, I did too, and there are quite a few things that I wish I could go back and tell myself at that point in my life. Here are 20 pieces of advice and lessons learned that I would tell myself, and anyone else, as a senior graduating high school.
1. Don’t take your high school friends (even your casual acquaintances) for granted.
You and your best friend have most likely already meticulously planned when you’re going to see each other during next year’s semester and have the shortest car routes already figured out. But your best friend isn’t the only person you’re going to miss after you graduate school. What about the friendly girl you talk to everyday in French class? Or the hilarious kid who has been your locker buddy for years because your last names are similar? Or even the obnoxious guy in your gym class who, yes, irritates you on the daily, but who also makes sure to smile at you every time you pass each other in the hallway? It’s these people who you’ll find yourself thinking about while you’re away at school. You weren’t the closest of friends so you might not keep in touch with them after graduation. Remember to appreciate these small relationships you have with your peers now. Just because they’re small doesn’t mean they’re insignificant. You’ll miss the daily interactions with them once you don’t see them every day anymore.
2. Try to get along with your parents. I remember at the end of high school up until right before I had to leave for college, I was constantly getting into fights with my parents. My mom was irritating me and even though I always felt as though I had a good relationship with her, it just felt like she never understood me and the problems I was going through. It was even worse with my dad because it always seemed like I was never good enough for him and he constantly was telling me things I needed to work on about myself, my academics, things for my future. However, what you don’t realize is that even though you might be excited or scared about this new chapter of your future, your parents are scared too. They might be annoying you more than usual because they just don’t know how to deal with the fact that their child is leaving them. From this point on, nothing will be how it was before. You’ll live at school, come home for breaks, then graduate college and go out into the real world. This is the last time they’ll have with you while your living situation is relatively normal. Give them a break and try to unwind yourself a bit when dealing with them. They only want what’s best for you in the end.
3. Get your favorite teacher’s contact information. There are definitely some teachers I had in high school that I strongly connected with. You know the teachers I’m talking about: you go into their room in the morning before Homeroom or during one of their off-periods just to chat. It’s them you go to if you feel like you need trust-worthy adult advice and you feel comfortable going to them with any problems in your life. It’s an unlikely friendship that’s formed over the duration of your years in high school and it’s a friendship that shouldn’t be overlooked. Without these teachers in your life to help guide you, high school would have been so much more hectic and crazy. Do yourself a favor and make sure you get their phone numbers or friend them on Facebook before the year is over. It’ll be much different next year when their rooms aren’t right down the hall for you to just pop into, but at least this way you can keep up with them and, if you really need it, text them for their valuable advice. A bond with a teacher is something very special and it’s one you don’t want to lose.
4. Take a walk or two around your high school before the last day.
Initially, this sounds a little bit unnecessary considering you walk around your school every day and know the building like the back of your hand. But consider this: you might not step foot in your school ever again, or at least not for an extremely long time. This is a place that holds so many memories for you. You remember the good, the bad, and the ugly. There was that time when you and your lab partner in Anatomy goofed off during in the lab room for the entire class period but still ended up getting an A on the assignment. You also remember that one time where you slipped and fell in the hallway in front of a huge crowd of people. Even though it was so painful and it was one of the most embarrassing moments you have, you look back on it now and realize that it was actually pretty funny. You also remember when you skipped class and hid in the bathroom with your best friend while she cried over some idiotic boy. These rooms and hallways carry so many memories. If you have the opportunity to take one introspective walk around your school to take everything in, go for it. It’s simultaneously nostalgic, sweet, and melancholy. It’s also totally worth your time.
5. You’re allowed to feel sad about graduating.
It might feel like you’re the odd one out because everyone around you is so excited about leaving school and getting out of your small town where nothing ever happens. It feels like your emotions are all the wrong ones when comparing them to how everyone else seems to feel. But it’s okay to feel mostly sad and nostalgic about leaving school. Everyone deals with their emotions regarding graduation and moving on very differently. We keep hearing from multiple people that it’s all going to be okay in the end, but how we get to that point of acceptance toward the future is not uniform. If you don’t need to cope about leaving high school and are just all-around excited, that’s amazing! If you do find that you need to cope a little bit, that’s also completely justified. Graduating and moving on to a new chapter of your life is hard to come to terms with and, even though your peers might seem enthusiastic and thrilled to get out, you don’t have to feel like that’s the only reaction.
6. Friendship isn’t always forever and that’s ok.
Just as easily as friends can slip into your life, they can also slip their way out just as easily. It’s difficult to realize, but this is okay. More so than that, it’s natural. Certain people enter your life for a specific purpose at the time you need it most. Despite the real connections you’ll establish with some, they might not stay with you forever. The fact of the matter is, some friendships have amazing runs and can be so helpful during your life, but then they run their course and that run is over. People change, grow apart, and travel down separate paths. The point is, everyone has a different plan and sometimes some friendships you made end up fizzling out along the way. It’s okay to just accept it, to embrace the memories and the lessons learned, and then let it go. Just as beautiful as that connection was, the growth and new beginnings you’ll go through have a beauty about them as well.
7. Enjoy the company of your siblings while you can.
Your siblings annoy you to no end almost every day. Your sister nags you about anything and everything while your brother just acts like an idiot for fun. There are days where you can’t take it anymore and can’t wait to get out of your house just so you can breathe without them being around. But take a second to think about the relationship you have with them. On the flip side, when you’re in a good mood, sometimes also you’ll go into your brothers room and bother him just because you can. The two of you can laugh about the same stupid Vine for days. Some of the best memories with you and your sister have been those times when you binge-watched The Real Housewives and RuPaul’s Drag Race all in the same night. They’re the only people who can relate to you when your parents are being ridiculously overbearing or yelling at you for no reason. You’ve faced countless family reunions and eternal car rides together. It might be hard to believe sometimes, but you will miss them when you can’t annoy them for entertainment all the time. Take some time to remember how lucky you are to have those brats in your life.
8. You will miss teachers actually knowing your name and who you are.
This is something that is overlooked and that you probably don’t think about when getting ready for college. In high school, you never have to worry about your teachers not knowing your name or what class you’re in. You can see them after school or during their off-periods and they immediately recognize you. Don’t except this type of acknowledgment in college. Whenever you email professors or go to their office hours, you’ll most likely have to remind them who you are and what class you have with them. It can be a little sad because, in high school, it feels like your teachers have a vested interest in you and your work. Professors are a little more distanced from you as a student, which can be difficult to adjust to. This isn’t your professors fault; they teach so many classes and have so many students that it’s no easy task to keep track of everyone. But you will miss the stronger connection you had with your teachers in high school.
9. Hold onto your zest for life as long as humanly possible.
This part of your life is so exciting and so fun because the world feels right at your fingertips. Sooner than you know, you’ll be in college on your own and it will feel magical. You have no one to answer to, you can eat however you want, and you live with your friends. Freshman year of college is supposed to be extraordinary and beautiful. Soon, though, you’ll come face to face with midterms, finals, and more projects than you can count on one hand…all due in the same week. Hold off on becoming that jaded college student you keep hearing about for as long as you can. Yes, midterms and finals are terrible, but life is still pretty great. Feel the magic even through the tough times because, trust me, it’s still there.
10. Pettiness and little problems truly do not matter.
You have to grow up sometime and calling someone an ugly name or gossiping about them behind their backs do nothing for you or your problems. Stick up for your fellow peers because they’re all going through the same high school problems as you are, except that you never know someone’s story or their struggles. You’ll soon face greater worries than the cheap gossip spreading around the halls. Do yourself a favor and don’t fan the flames that rumors give off. It’s really not worth anyone’s time and there are so many more interesting things to talk about, as well as bigger problems you’ll have to face later on.
11. Friendship can bloom in unlikely places.
People you never thought you’d talk to can become the most genuine of friends. Even teachers you encounter over these four years have the potential to become great friends to you. Not even simply friends, but irreplaceable mentors that can help you work your way through the chaos of your life. You may not even realize it, but your friendship with someone can change someone’s life. Friendship is everywhere, you just have to look out for it. Keep an open mind about anyone and everyone, as well as an open heart.
12. No matter how painful, scary, or intimidating something is, you will get through it.
The worst friend drama you could imagine, long and painful presentations, tests you know you didn’t study for: all situations that have happened to you throughout high school that may have completely freaked you out and had you questioning whether or not you were strong enough to get through it. In the end, though, it always ended up passing. The things that scare you won’t scare you forever. You’ll realize after they’re over and done with that you were strong enough. You’re more than that, you are strong enough. You’ll get through it and you’ll be proud of the strength you’ve proved to yourself.
13. No matter how sucky or amazing the day is, it always has to end.
This can be a blessing and a curse, depending on the situation. Life is filled with beautiful beginnings and painful endings. It’s also filled with just the opposite: rocky beginnings and endings filled with relief. Just as things like friendships can have sad endings that no one wants to let go, there are also things that just need to end and you feel happiness when they finally do. During a particularly awful day, it can be so comforting to think to yourself “This day has to end at some point and then I’ll be at home, watching Netflix with my dog”. Remembering that the days don’t last forever is amazing and depressing because it teaches us to value the good parts while you can but also to realize that the sadness won’t last forever.
14. Rely on yourself.
This piece of advice is something that is hard to deal with. Sometimes you’ll find that maybe you rely too much on certain people and depend on their friendship or the need to feel special and different in their eyes. Even so, dependency is a bad thing. It completely limits your independence and your opinion of yourself. Learn to be alone and to count on yourself. At the end of the day, the only person who will truly look out for you is…you. Of course, it’s important to have friends you can trust, but learning to depend only on yourself when necessary is so valuable because you really only can count on yourself 100% of the time. In short, being independent can only help you in the long run.
15. Stop comparing yourself to others.
It’s very easy to view ourselves in the shadows of others. You might not feel as pretty as her, your hair or skin might not seem completely flawless, you don’t feel thin or curvy enough, you don’t feel as smart as your friend, etc. The list goes on and on and on. It’s such an unhealthy mindset and a terrible way to live. The truth of the matter is, other people and their abilities and their appearances don’t matter. Only you matter. See yourself in clear focus and let everyone else fade out. The only person you should be comparing yourself to is you. See yourself for who you are and what you can do, separate from others. This isn’t an easy task by any means, but it’s so worth it in the end.
16. Live in the moment as much as you can.
As easy as it is to think ahead to your budding future, try live in the present moments as much as possible. This is the last time that you’ll be in high school as a senior ever again. When your life feels like it’s moving at 100 miles per hour all the time, it might make you feel overwhelmed and slightly freaked out. Just take a few moments out of your day to feel every second of what’s happening about you. This can help calm you down a bit but also to take everything in while you still can.
17. While it’s okay to be scared, you don’t have to be.
You’re allowed to feel scared. It’s normal to be anxious about college and leaving everything you know. But also know that there’s no reason to be scared. No matter what happens, it’s all going to turn out okay in the end. It’s going to be understandably different and possibly difficult to integrate yourself with this new life you’ll be leading, but you’ll get there eventually if it doesn’t happen immediately. It’s not supposed to be easy but it’s also not supposed to be this awful thing you’re trying hard to resist either. Keep in mind that no matter how things turn out for you, it’ll be okay. That much can be guaranteed.
18. Keep writing…and writing.
This is a great time in your life for reflection and introspection in a diary or journal. Writing a little bit each day about how your life is going is not only good for you and can help keep you sane, but when you look back on those you’ll come back to appreciate however you were feeling and you’ll also be able to clearly see the progress and growth you’ve accomplished in that time span. Even if you aren’t a natural writer or you feel too busy, I promise it’s worth your time to write just a small amount every day.
19. Be thankful for your experiences thus far.
Experiences, both good and bad, help shape the person you are and will become. Value the positive experiences because you were lucky enough to have them. Value the negative ones because you can learn from them and grow stronger. There is beauty to be found in all things in life if you try hard enough to find it. High school can be hell at times, but no matter what you went through or how hard it was to overcome, try and be thankful and remember that the experiences you have gone and will go through will shape you forever, and that’s something to be thankful for.
20. You still have more to learn.
You’ve come so far throughout high school, and that should be acknowledged and celebrated. But you still don’t know it all. College is an exciting time and you’ll be surrounded by these new environments and have a multitude of new experiences every single day. This is a time where you’ll experience exponential growth and learn more things about yourself all the time. It’s definitely something to get excited about. You’ll continuously keep learning more about yourself throughout your entire life, but this is a time in your life where you can especially expect to understand yourself more and more each day. You’ve come a long way, but you’re still going farther. Embrace that.
*All images courtesy of Giphy