First generation college students are a varied set of people – we are of all races, genders, majors and socioeconomic statuses. My experience as a first-generation college student, but not a first-generation American, is not universal and is specific to my family and upbringing. Many students who are the first in their family to attend university have told me that their experiences are similar to mine – this is our reality.
Everything is a little bit harder and there is little room for error.
It seems as though everyone is counting on you to be perfect – they’ve placed all of their bets on your success.
My mom is a secretary at an apartment complex and my dad runs his own heating and cooling business. While those are both admirable jobs, neither of them needed a college education to get where they are today. They have always wanted “more than that” for my sister and me.
I think I always knew I would go to college, even when I was very young. I was the kid who was in all of the accelerated classes and who read books at lunchtime. I loved to learn – my teachers saw that in me and fed into it, making my love of learning into a monster that could swallow me whole.
I often say that school is the only thing that I am good at, which is true. I have only gotten this far because I am dedicated, hardworking and have a burning desire to learn as much as I can. I might be innovative and clever, but I am not the person that intelligence comes naturally to.
When you’re the first person in your family to go to college, you have to learn to do everything by yourself. I had to learn how to use the Common Application, as well as apply for FAFSA and CSS for aid and loans. I have some friends that have never even seen the FAFSA website and probably couldn’t figure it out on the first try. But for hours I sat there at my kitchen table, painstakingly entering numbers and trying to get my essay to flow just right. No one around you can answer your questions about anything – my parents couldn’t help me with my homework from grade seven and on.
Every misstep that you make feels like an enormous failure that will end your academic career. I have friends who get C’s regularly and don’t bat an eye because, “Cs get degrees.” I wasn’t raised with that attitude – I’ve been on the Provost’s Honor Roll since my first semester of university and I’ve never gotten anything less than a B+ on anything.
I broke down and sobbed last semester when I got my first C in the Elections class. I still managed to scrape an A in the class despite getting a 70 on my final exam. Every time I don’t live up to the standards my family has ingrained in me, I feel like I am letting them down.
I’m always asked, “Why are you so stressed? They’re just grades!”. It feels like the weight of every family member’s hopes are on my shoulders. It becomes heavier and heavier the longer I have to do this. The pressure is pushing me farther and farther into my academic wormhole. Everything has to be done perfectly or you’ll bring shame to your family. You’ll be wasting thousands of dollars by being anything less than perfect.
When you’re the first person in your family to go to college, everyone has their eyes and hopes on you. They never leave, even if you keep performing.
It never gets any easier – you still have to do everything yourself. The upside is that now you can help those who come after you. My little sister applied to colleges this year and is attending. Oakland University in Michigan. She had an easier time of it because she had someone to tell her how to do everything.
Being a first-generation college student has its trials and tribulations, but the experience will be worth every breakdown and crying spell. You will turn out stronger and more self-sufficient than your peers.
Header photo is from https://www.gissv.org/uploaded/photos/GISSV_Website/Learning/Student_Col…