Most of us by now have had that one boyfriend that forever changed our lives. He was the epitome of perfect between opening doors for you, stopping by at odd hours to just say hi and interrupting your sentences with a kiss because he just couldn’t control himself. Most of us have also had that one guy best friend who trumps any and all best friends of the past. He was someone you could tell everything to, someone you relied on and in many ways he was like your perfect boyfriend, just the need to attack his face every five seconds wasn’t there. But what happens when you and that boyfriend breakup? Or the unthinkable occurs and suddenly you find yourself at odds with that best friend? Of course your first instinct is to be sad and to fight for that relationship or friendship because it’s that important to you. But there comes a point when you realize no amount of tears or pleading are going to work. There are five universal signs that should tell you to save your tears and attempts at trying to work things out - basically to save your time. These five signs should leave you with some comfort because chances are if he’s doing them, he really wasn’t worth your time in the first place.
- He lets his friends do all his dirty work: They say every girl has her army of skanks…well every boy has his army of dogs. These are the two or three boys that never leave his side, who whisper ideas in his ear instead of letting him rationalize the situation for himself. They are the ones who basically make it their mission to take his problems into their own hands. They Facebook message you or text you about the situation at hand, trying to reason with you or at times blaming you for it. They’re the ones who take it upon themselves to answer for him, to somewhat block him as he passes you, and of course to yell extremities at you when walk by. A mature guy wouldn’t let this happen. He’d tell his friends to back off and to let him handle the situation by himself because in reality it has nothing to do with them. But of course, the guy you are dealing with won’t do this. Instead he’ll hide behind his army, licking his wounds and letting his dogs fight his battles for him.
- His phone is suddenly the most fascinating thing in this world as soon as you walk by: We’ve all done this move at some point in time, mostly when you’re walking through the breezeway and you want to avoid getting bombarded with flyers and offers of cupcakes and brownies. But this guy takes it to a whole other level. Let’s face it, UMiami is somewhat small school compared to others-you two are bound to run into each other eventually. In fact, you two are bound to run into each other all the time. Each time you see him walking opposite you, take a closer look. His phone suddenly becomes his new best friend. He either gets call or is furiously texting someone back the moment he notices you in his line of sight. This all could seem like a big coincidence but in reality he’s most likely avoiding that chance that your eyes could lock. After all, looks can kill-especially in these kinds of situations.
- As soon as you enter the room, he leaves it: Chances are you have some mutual friends so you’re bound to still hangout in the same places. Only, whenever you enter the same room as him and those friends, you notice that five minutes later he gets up and leaves. Don’t take it personally though. Even if you guys still haven’t made up at this point, everyone should at least take it upon themselves to be civil and to stand being in the same room. By him leaving it reflects weakness on his part and chances are, everyone else in the room notices it too.
- He sleeps with your friend just to spite you: If your ex-boyfriend, best friend, acquaintance, whoever... ever did this to you-that should be the biggest if not most disturbing sign of immaturity. Anyone who goes out of their way to deliberately hurt you by using one of your friends is never worth your time or tears. Whether or not there was alcohol or some other force at play involved, something as serious as this is never excusable. Don’t continue to chase someone or try to earn their forgiveness at this point because he clearly isn’t in the right mindset to even consider it.
- He overplays the victim card: He’ll take any opportunity to tell anyone and everyone what happen between you two. How conniving, ruthless and cutthroat you were and how hurt he is about everything…one month later. Too many girls I know have been in this very situation. It doesn’t matter what you did, you could have been the meanest person ever to him or you could of very well made one simple mistake-it doesn’t matter because in his eyes, you broke through that manly barrier he put up and managed to hurt something that most girls will never get the chance to see-his heart. And while I do sympathize with the boys who are hurt by girls-if you’re going out of your way to still talk about everything when all of it has clearly been said and done then you aren’t being a victim-you’re just being needy. Victims go through an ordeal but sooner or later they rise above it, those who consistently drown in their sorrows and try to drown everyone else in them as well are only hurting themselves and also are clearly covering up the fact that they had some part in this whole ordeal as well.
Fighting with anyone, no matter the sex or past history, is never fun. Whether it was your fault, his fault or some third party’s fault, it always affects you, him and everyone around you. Every situation you encounter, whether it is good or bad, happens for a reason. It’s how you handle that situation that defines who you are in that moment. Needless to say, girls don’t do their fair share amount of immature actions when fighting with boys but at times these actions are a response to a series of immature actions taken by said boys. If you ever begin to notice any one of these five signs, or maybe notice some of your own, save yourself and just try your best to move on eventually. Even if it takes longer than it should, he will too.