Now with that being said, let’s get into what being too sensitive truly means. Being too sensitive is when someone overreacts to something that is OBVIOUSLY so harmless right? The problem comes when we put it on ourselves to determine what is hurtful to another person with their own individual experiences and values. Sure, people do overreact and some things are all in good fun. However, there are distinct differences that everyone would notice if they just listened. Calling someone too sensitive diminishes accountability. It prevents us from actually hearing a person out.
This is very “me” oriented and not great for sustaining relationships. People are allowed to feel hurt and not be brushed off because of it. It took me years to realize that my hurt was always valid and I needed to be more assertive about how I handled it. Most people actually aren’t too sensitive and their needs are simply not being met.
So, here’s just a short list of scenarios where you’re NOT too sensitive for getting upset over.
1. When someone makes a joke about your ethnicity.
Everyone wants to be proud of where they come from. It may take people awhile to understand that there are a ton of jokes that don’t involve ethnicity. I mean if someone wants to joke about their own ethnicity, LET THEM. But please refrain from joking about a group of people that you aren’t a part of. I know you may think it’s all in good fun, but honestly, it’s not up to you to deem it as okay or not. It’s up to the people affected.
2. When a person nitpicks your appearance.
Appearance is a touchy subject for many. People grow up self-conscious about their bodies and don’t need their friends or family nitpicking their appearance. It can give you some pretty deep self-esteem issues that don’t go away easily. You’re not too sensitive for feeling hurt even years down the road. Be honest about how you feel and people should respect that.
3. When another person hits you after you’ve told them to stop.
Everyone has the right to their own personal space and not to be attacked in any way. Even if it’s just harmless riffraff, if you tell them to cut it off, they should. You’re not too sensitive for being annoyed. They should respect your boundaries.
4. When someone makes a comment that digs deep into your inner wounds.
People don’t always understand your struggles. They can say things without thinking. It may be completely unintentional and the problem may be more with your past hurt, than with them. However, don’t blame yourself. It’s something that you have the right to bring up and discuss.
5. When a friend completely dismisses your feelings.
It’s important to be heard by the people we choose to be our friends. I’ve been in situations when I really tried to understand the other person but they honestly were so sure of their own correctness and dismissed me completely. It’s okay to be hurt by this. The right thing to do is to be open about it and if your friend still dismisses you, well you can decide what to do from there.
6. When you get blown off by someone you barely knew.
There should be books dedicated to the short lived flings we get wrapped up in and hurt by. The dating world is honestly the worst. Let’s say you take being blown off too hard. That it doesn’t make sense how hard you’re taking it since you barely knew them. But when you’re around someone you connect with, you’re sharing a part of yourself. It can take some time to re-cooperate and realize you don’t need them.
7. When your identity is undermined.
This could be your gender, sexual orientation, or heritage. You have a right to exist and your existence should be respected. It’s not negotiable, your identity should be respected.
8. When someone’s political views make you feel unsafe and unheard.
You’re allowed to be around people that you feel safe and happy around. Life is too short not to. Please decide if being around them is worth it and if so, be prepared to have some discussions that will inevitably cause discomfort.
The most beautiful thing you can do for others is to let them be heard. To have open dialogue about how our words affect each other. So much is brushed off and forgotten and the wounds just linger.
Are you too sensitive?
Please give it a second thought.
Unless you’re faking your hurt and creating insults out of thin air….
You’re probably not.