In this day and age, quality relationships as teenagers/ young adults seem almost mythical. The trend of infidelity and the maintenance of multiple, simultaneous flings mixed together with the good ol’ hook-up culture makes for a platform of insecurity, distrust, and emotional distress. As a result, the relationships that are cultivated seem to either last for less than a few months, or to be riddled with issues. However, as I continue to navigate my way through my freshman year I’m beginning to see couples who defy these, at least what seem to be, ‘norms.’ After consulting with a few of my fellow students, as well as drawing from the experience of my own 3+ year relationship, here are 5 major truths and tips about dating in college.
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Trust is key.
College in itself can be a very stressful time for people. Between heavy workloads, the maintenance of a steady social life and somewhat normal sleep schedule, there is a ton going on in the life of a university student. Add to that the responsibility of a relationship and you’ve got yourself a busy agenda. This jam-packed life itinerary is not necessarily a bad thing, but when trust is an issue in your relationship, the stress comes on even stronger. When it’s often that you will be going out to parties, bars etc. without each other, trust is incredibly crucial to making sure that you don’t lose your sanity. Establish a level of trust with each other so that your relationship is a positive, and not a source of anxiety or stress.
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Being in a relationship does NOT mean missing out.
One of the biggest myths about dating someone in college is that a relationship is synonymous with missing out on things. Your significant other is not your parent. No matter your relationship status you should always have the ability to go where you want, when you want, and with whoever you want. You should always make your own choices, and if you do so, you will not miss out, relationship or not.
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Balance your time.
One of the biggest mistakes one can make when being in a college relationship is the lack of dispersion of their time between school, friends, and their significant other. Balancing your time is a life skill that is not unique to intimate relationships, but relationships are a great way to learn how. In order to maintain healthy relationships, intimate or otherwise, it’s crucial not to focus all of your time on a single person. No matter what the situation, you never want to put all of your eggs in one basket.
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Don’t let co-ed friendships sketch you out.
Disregarding the size of your university, you and your S/O will more likely than not have different sets of friends. Especially at a larger school, it is again more likely than not that not all of their friends will be the same sex as they are. It is so important that you don’t over-analyze these strictly platonic relationships as if they were something other than just that. So much of college centers around meeting new people, making friends and memories, and expanding your personal network. Because of this, that means the people they interact with and build friendships with will not fit a single profile. Don’t let it bother you. After all, you’re the one they’ve chosen, right?
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You don’t have to date anyone.
Amongst the many misconceptions that people have regarding dating in college, this one seems to be the most prevalent. The time spent at your university, no matter where you are, is merely a chapter in the grand scheme of your entire life, and by no means will it be your final chance at love. Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to find your future spouse/ soulmate on your campus! This doesn’t mean you absolutely won’t, but it does mean that it is completely and totally okay if you don’t. Enjoy the experience, and if finding ‘the one’ is part of it, don’t confuse it with the norm.