By: Sarah Reitz
It can be hard to admit to yourself that a supposed “friend” does not have your best interests at heart. Whether they exclude you, use you, or make you feel like shit, you don’t deserve that. Every girl deserves to be surrounded by people who love and support her for the kick ass girl she is. A truly healthy, positive friendship can have such a large impact on your life, but unfortunately, so can negative friendships.
So how do you recognize these toxic friendships? If you are always there for a friend when she needs help, but she suddenly vanishes the second you need the favor returned, the friendship is toxic. If she tears you down, whether it’s mean or “jokingly”, the friendship is toxic. If they do not support you or the decisions you make, the friendship is toxic. Sound familiar? Most likely, the person you thought of reading these past sentences is a toxic friend. Whether this person has been your friend for 2 months or 10 years, it doesn’t matter. Sometimes a friendship can become toxic. Days to years of a good, healthy friendship can very slowly or even quickly take a turn for the worse. A negative friendship is not healthy for you and you deserve more than that. Toxic friendships are sometimes hard to spot, specifically because they hide behind the label of “friendship”. However, when you repeatedly see your love and effort not being reciprocated or maybe just not feeling fulfilled or happy after spending time with this person, they are toxic.
The best thing to do when you realize you have a negative relationship is to cut this person out of your life. Blunt, I know. It may seem harsh or mean, but it is the best thing for you to do. It’s important to take control of your life and realize how those people really make you feel. Because they are “toxic” in their very nature, sometimes these friendships can be the hardest ones to end. People who are toxic will make you feel like a bad friend, or make you into the enemy. Situations like this can affect your mental health. Focusing on your own self-health is much more important than caring for a negative friendship. It is essential to put yourself first in these instances, even though that may be hard to do. Compare this relationship to one that isn’t toxic. If you bring yourself to realize the differences, you will also realize that this relationship is truly hurting you. Trust me, I understand it’s not easy to end a friendship. It’s awkward and it can be uncomfortable. But in the long run, your life will improve. You know what they say, the hardest decisions are usually the best decisions. You are entitled to be happy and healthy, and in order for that to happen, sometimes you just have to let go.