Most women are drawn to busy, active men. We’re attracted to the young professionals, student athletes, and club presidents– not the guy who sits on the couch. People in demand are attractive and have an appeal because their life is full. But, if you’ve ever dated a busy guy, you know that there are obstacles. Sometimes, busy guys will make you wait for a response from them, have little time to devote to you, and not be ready for a commitment.
Life can be pretty busy, but some people have more on their plate than others. When you’re dating a busy guy, you need to get your head together. Here’s how to handle the situation.
Look for the signs that he likes you.
When a busy guy consistently makes time for you, this shows you’re a priority. You will see the signs of interest. The way he treats you when you’re together is #1. If there’s a follow-up call or text after a date, this is positive. Action shows interest. Words do not. In dating, it’s all about understanding the other person’s signals. What do his convey? The main thing to look for is sustainable behavioral patterns and reliability. And conversely, you also need to send positive signals that the relationship is important to you. This is how you make it work!
Respect his schedule, and make sure he respects yours, too.
We’re talking about busy guys here, but if you’re a full time student, you may not have tons of free time, either. So, respect each other’s schedules. Be understanding about when he can’t see you, but if it turns into a consistent situation of him bailing out on you, this is obviously a problem. Not only is it inconsiderate and disrespectful on his behalf, but one-on-one time is important for a relationship to develop. When you first start dating someone, you need to keep building momentum by seeing each other without weeks going by in between. It’s not fair for you to have to always be working around his schedule. IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO!
Have your own outlets.
I’ve seen many women become immersed in a new relationship and then spend less time with their friends. That’s a personal choice, but when you’re dating a busy guy, it becomes more necessary to have outlets, hobbies, and go out with friends. Make it clear that he’s not the center of your universe. Most busy guys will desire a woman who also has a full life. Yes, this can complicate things with both of your schedules, but an active woman will understand him more than a homebody. Having outlets is much more attractive than giving off clingy vibes. While these vibes are not always intentionally conveyed, guys quickly pick up on it. Then, they run for the hills because neediness is not hot. So, play it cool!
Communicate while you are apart.
A relationship is more likely to progress when there is communication between two parties when they are apart. As college students who have mastered all forms of social media, you know there are many ways to communicate aside from calling and texting. You can use Facebook, Skype, send emails, tweet each other, “like” each other’s Instagram photos, and even use Snapchat throughout the day. If you’re old fashioned, then write a love letter! Clearly, there are plenty of options to stay in touch. In my previous article, The Real Reasons Why Guys Disappear (And How to Deal), I alluded to something important: It takes about 30 seconds to send a text to let someone you care about know that you’re thinking of them. Most people also have time for a phone call before bed. Yes, some guys are not the best communicators, but when one is truly interested in you, he generally makes it known. Being “busy” is really not an excuse to be out of touch. So, keep the excitement alive while you’re not together!
Keep it interesting.
Sociable people tend to have lots of options in their dating pool. Work and school aren’t the only aspects of life keeping guys busy. There are also social engagements, and other women of interest. You need to make sure that you make yourself stand out among other options he may (or may not) have. One of the best ways to do this is to make the dating experiences you have together as enjoyable as possible. Show personality, uniqueness, wit, and ambition. Create an emotional connection, as you bond together. Be direct in your communication, but also subtle enough in your approach so that he can take the lead in pursuing you. Don’t use time with your guy as an opportunity to vent about issues that bother you. This is not an enjoyable experience, and you may notice that there’s not a date afterwards! Using these strategies will make you the front runner in any decision he has to make between a relationship with you and any other girls.
Determine if he’s worth it.
Give yourself time to figure out if this guy is worthy of you. Now, you know how to look for the signs of interest, how to communicate, and how to manage a relationship with someone who has a full life. This is especially important when you have a full life, too. However, the truth is that you may not get too much time with him. Is once or twice a week to see each other alright with you? Do you mind late responses? You need to make sure that he is bringing as much to the table as you are, and often it takes several weeks to a few months for him to show his true colors. If his personality is electric, he’s showing you respect, and being a gentleman, then he just might be worth it. It’s up to you!
And when he’s not worth it, there will always be other options.