Dating during your early-twenties can be fun, exciting, frustrating, and character-building all at once. This is the time in our lives when we begin to shape how we go about all of our adult relationships in the future. From the ever-common situations of wondering when he’ll respond to your text, to figuring out if the interest is mutual, or to assessing if your relationship has long-term potential, we have a lot of choices to make. And, yes, we will make mistakes, especially during this time in our lives.
Here are 5 dating mistakes women make in their early-twenties… and how to fix them.
1) Worrying about whether or not he’ll get back to you…
Many twenty-something women worry about whether their guy of the moment will call or text them back – and if/when it doesn’t happen, their day is ruined.
The fix: Worrying doesn’t change anything about the outcome of a situation. It only adversely changes your state of mind. So, realize that one of two things will happen: he will either get back to you, or he won’t. In the meantime, stay busy, productive, and focused. You know you have other things to do. Do them! Get a life- you may still get the guy!
2) Asking too many people for advice about your love life…
Having a special friend or family member who you can rely on for advice is great. But having too many advisors is not so great! Our love lives are complicated because people are complicated. Too much advice is bound to fill your head with too many different ideas. And let’s face it: most of the people who are trying to give you advice are not in such great relationships themselves.
The fix: Find one or two people you trust and seek their advice. Ironically, guys can give us girls the best advice. But remember: the choice is always up to you.
3) Fixating on him having interest in you, or lack thereof…
Is he interested in me? Or not? It’s the age old question that women have fixated on for years. A good deal of dating revolves around the question of figuring out if someone is seriously interested in you. This is how we decide whether to move forward or take a step back. Women often over-analyze. We read into things too much. We fixate.
The fix: If dating is causing you to experience personal stress, then you need to work on a few things, namely becoming confident in yourself. Remember, other people often know when we are stressed – and we are unaware. So, the one never-ending fix is to learn to relax. You’ll feel better, and, guess what? Others (i.e. guys) will notice!
4) Not taking risks…
Life is a self-fulfilling prophesy. We get out of life what we put into life. In dating, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Are you someone who never goes outside of their comfort zone? If so, you may have a problem in your dating life!
The fix: Know your comfort zone and push it further out! There is always a healthy balance between creating a connection with someone and coming across as overly forward and clingy. So, putting this advice into place takes time, but putting effort into making meaningful connections with guys you are interested in is a good move. Even if you don’t exactly see the results you want, you can go to sleep at night knowing that you took a step towards making your love life better than it was yesterday. And then, ultimately, let him pursue Y-O-U.
5) Ignoring your deal-breakers in a relationship…
Twenty-something women and men often don’t date with a vision. Once in a relationship, it’s common to stay in it simply because it’s what you know. But, sometimes, what you know isn’t all that good.
The fix: Dating should be fun and rewarding. If the guy you’re dating has some serious issues that crosses your lines, think about ending the relationship. All of us know someone who seems stuck in a bad relationship. Ugh! They’re not stuck! They’re making a bad choice. Don’t be that girl!