Ladies, we need to have a serious talk. The mental self-sabotage has gone on for long enough and it’s affecting your happiness and your relationships. As women, we come in different shapes and sizes and we should be priding ourselves on our unique and beautiful body types. In my opinion, women’s bodies have an inherent sexiness to them. Yet, why are many women self-conscious about their bodies and why do they act as if they are ashamed of how they look during intimacy? It’s time for an intervention. Yes, I know that this may sound drastic, but there is a reason why your beau loves every inch of you. So, why are we stressing? Our concerns about our bodies are interfering with our ability to connect on a deeper level with our significant others and enjoy pleasurable experiences during intimacy. The following are quotes from people who want to assure us that our bodies are beautiful, as well as inform us that our negative perceptions are turn offs in the bedroom:
Photo: Marie Claire UK
“When I am having sex with a girl, I am not really looking at her body. I usually close my eyes and try to concentrate on what I am doing and concentrating on how it feels. I am not analyzing what she’s doing and what she looks like.”
-Dylan
“I believe women’s bodies are, in themselves, forms of freedom. There is so much liberation to be had through women’s bodies because women’s bodies can do anything. I feel like that’s why society tries to put so many restrictions on the look and feel of women’s bodies because they are powerful beyond measure and society cannot handle that. If I’m intimate with a woman I would want her to know that no matter her shape, her physique, her look that she is beautiful and to know that she can claim the immense amount of power she holds.”
-Mykell
“The female body is a beautiful canvas, but for me, the most attractive quality on a woman isn’t something tangible. Above all other characteristics, I find confidence to be the sexiest. My satisfaction is a direct reflection of how my partner feels, and if my partner feels self-conscious about her body, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy myself. Bottom line, the best relationships and the most heightened experiences I’ve had are when my partner is comfortable in her skin and both of us feel secure.”
–Aubrey
“Women should not be self conscious when they are having sex with a guy mostly because that is not what a guy is thinking about. If he took all the steps to go and have sex with her, I feel like he would have noticed if he didn’t notice something about her that he didn’t like before they got to that point. The guy is not paying attention to what her gut looks like while they are having sex, or whatever she is self conscious about.”
-Alejandro
“One of the hard parts of being a woman and being with another woman is trusting that the other woman is O.K. with how you keep your body if it is different than how your lover does. I love all women’s bodies. The difference and variation is exciting to me, making every time I’m with a new lover a new adventure.”
–Elizabeth
“If you are comfortable with yourself, that makes me comfortable with you. In regards to hiding your gut or turning away, it makes me feel uncomfortable because I think you don’t want to be with me. The more open the better. I don’t really care about the “bodaciousness,” so to speak, or how busty or fit [you are] – as long as you’re comfortable with yourself and you feel healthy to your own standards, then that’s good enough for me.”
–Eurico
Photo: Pace Living
From the various people I interviewed, there seems to be a common theme: They do not care about your “imperfections.” Your imperfections are perfect to them and you should embrace your beautiful body. So, remember, the next time you are intimate, think about why your significant other is with you and connecting with you on this deep level. If that is not enough, try asking your beau why he or she loves your body. I am sure that you will get some positive feedback. Intimacy should be pure and carefree. Do not let your worries get the best of you; just relax and enjoy.