As we usher in the beginning of a new semester, new opportunities arise and there’s an overwhelming urge to see everyone and do everything. The most glaring event of spring semester is sorority recruitment. Recruitment is an appealing opportunity to get involved with a popular social scene at UMD, and to find the ever-elusive “lifelong sisterhood” that everyone talks about. “It’s not four years, it’s for life!” is the phrase most Rho Gamma’s will tell you when you begin the two week process of rushing. This is all well and good for those who dedicate their college career to the sisterhood, however it’s okay if you don’t find it. Its okay to not rush, there are other ways to find sisterhood. It’s also okay if you don’t exactly fit in with the kumbaya of it all, and I’ll tell you why.
1. It’s a time commitment. A sorority is not a club, or another activity to keep you occupied. It’s a lifestyle and essentially a relationship, except instead of swearing to be faithful to one person you have to be faithful to 100. It is a major juggling act to be involved with any other organizations while trying to be active in a sorority. Sororities require attendance at weekly meetings, usually spanning 2 hours. On top of that there are philanthropy functions on the weekends, along with workshops that you need to attend so that you know how to behave at those functions. Add on sisterhood retreats, fundraisers, other Greek events such as homecoming and Greek Week. There are also the future recruitments where you’ll have to go through two weeks of conversations and heel wearing.
What I’m trying to say is that it’s okay to want to keep your free time, free.
2. There are hidden fees on top of dues. Sorority members pay thousands of dollars in dues a year just to be in the chapter. Most people know this going in, however its not advertised that all of those fun activities and cool shirts aren’t included in those dues. Members are asked to give additional money to their philanthropies for “points”. They are also STRONGLY recommended to wear certain t-shirts, which they have to buy. On top of that, the fun sisterhood activities cost additional money to participate. Most sororities run on a point system, which requires active members to get a certain amount of points in several categories, such as sisterhood, philanthropy, and community. If you don’t get all of the required points you are fined.
If you want to save money in college, which is already expensive, don’t join a sorority.
3. You are told how to present yourself and act. Sororities are exclusive communities for a reason, which means they try to act and present themselves in the best manner. Sororities advertise that they better women and represent a high ideal for academics and morals. This involves having high ranked executive sisters and advisors telling you how to conduct yourself. They tell you how you need to behave at parties and philanthropy events, and how you should look when you wear letters. The golden rule is you should have your hair and makeup done when wearing letters and representing the sorority in class everyday.
For those who enjoy wearing leggings and a flannel to class everyday and being rowdy at parties, you probably wont like being reprimanded at sorority meetings.
4. You may lose some of your friends. When you join a sorority you are immediately accepting dozens of girls as sisters. For some girls it’s easy to immediately love everyone you meet and feel a connection, for others it takes time to get to know everyone. You will be spending a lot of time with your sisters (see point #1), which means you are losing time with your non-Greek friends or friends who joined other sororities. It can be hard to balance schoolwork, family, sorority, and friends, and sometimes that means you will be forced to drift apart from your old friends. This can be very isolating to have your sorority be your whole social life. Being in a sorority changes you because you are always immersed in the culture. This can rub some of your other friends the wrong way and makes it hard to meet new people because they already have a preconceived notion about what girls in your sorority are like.
Everyone has to prioritize what is important to him or her, if finding a ready-made friend group is what your looking for then Greek Life is for you. But there are other ways to find “sisters” that don’t involve limiting your social scene.
5. Hierarchy matters in Greek Life. Sisters will tell you time and time again during recruitment that social standing, or “tiers”, doesn’t matter to them. Maybe they are delusional and truly believe that, but trust me “tiers” matter and affect every chapter. There is a superiority complex among girls in chapters deemed top tier, these girls are envied and talked about. Other chapters compare themselves to the top tier sororities and try to emulate them, whether it’s during Greek Week or Bid Day. Top tier sororities cost more and are the most sought after during recruitment, so they get to be extremely selective. If you end up in a sorority that is not top tier, certain fraternities won’t have socials with your sisters and you might not have the best reputation.
It can be very difficult to be defined by the organization you’re a part of, instead of by your own merit. It’s ok to not care about social standing.
Just like with any social organization, Greek life is not all bad. There are definitely professional benefits and a sense of belonging in chapters. However many girls join and disaffiliate sororities every year because they aren’t fully informed about what their getting into. Behind all of the smoke and mirrors, there are serious flaws within recruitment and the new member process. It’s important to be informed about the Greek culture at UMD and the commitment of sorority life. Hopefully, as a disaffiliate myself, I’m able to give readers a glimpse into the nitty gritty details of sorority life.