1. DETERMINED: It’s New Years Day, you sit yourself down and contemplate what you want to change in 2016. You think about exercising more, eating healthier and studying harder. So you give up the junk food, force yourself to work out at least 3 times a week and organize your workload, which also means less alcohol consumption. It’s week one and so far you have followed through with your resolutions at home, lets see how long this lasts when you return to school.
2. Cheat Week: You’re finally back to school and your social life has returned. Of course, you and your roommates are ready to go out on the town and you think it’s fine. You’re thinking: It’s just syllabus week, I deserve a break from eating healthy and working out. Next week, I’ll just work out really hard and not drink and get ahead on all my assignments because if I don’t do well this semester my dad may actually kill me.
3. Mid-Semester Denial: Midterms roll around and your grades aren’t as good as you’d hoped, that six-pack you thought you would have by spring break has not even started to shape up, the snacking is worse then ever, and your roommates, who are freakishly smart, tempt you to go out to every Turf Tuesday.
4. Lost Hope: You have given up on the whole “toned body and eat healthy” mantra. Grades are on thin ice as you cram for your finals praying to get away with all B’s. and maybe that one C in statistics, but that’s fine. And all you can think about is going out one more night to hopefully hookup with your crush while convincing yourself you do not need to study for your women studies final, because you know your TA is too nice to fail you.
5. Restart: No more stress from school so it’s time to get back to working out since you’ll be wearing a bathing suit more than actual clothes over the break. You feel like a whole new you now that you have revisited your resolutions and you’re excited to actually follow through with them.
6. Given up: You’re a senior now so you are pretty much done with work and school in general. You also don’t want to enter the real world so, of course, you’re going to take advantage of the fact that you’re legally 21 now and can hit the bars whenever you want because you’re over frat parties. You’ve noticed your six-pack still doesn’t exist and that it’s time to actually get one.
7. Resurrection of the Goals: As you’re shoving Hot Cheetos into your mouth while sitting at home in front of the Christmas tree, you have finally admitted to yourself that you failed on your 2016 New Years resolutions, so for 2017 you will truly conquer and go beyond your resolutions for the year to make up for the past 20 years of skipping out on your New Year resolutions.