Summertime, when the living is easy, means much more than simply soaking up the sun, or taking a break from a demanding semester. It’s the longest period of time you have with your significant other if you’re in a long distance relationship while at college.
When fall semester rolls around, suddenly it is time to get serious about what you and your significant other plan on doing. Which could mean, maintaining a strictly closed relationship or open to see other people while away at school. Both options have their pros and cons. Living out what you preach can be challenging, and while my boyfriend lives nearly four hours away, I have applied five basic principles to my relationship. So far, it’s really worked out! Below is a simple 5-step guide on how to do the long distance relationship without going crazy.
1. Define the rules of the relationship: Is it open or closed?
Open: Some couples today choose to keep their relationships open while away at college. Leaving the time that they’re committed to one another strictly during breaks when both are home.
Pros:
- Gives each person in the relationship an opportunity to meet other people while away at school.
- Helps alleviate the pressure of worrying whether or not your significant other is cheating on you
Cons:
- Can make one person in the relationship feel pressure that they’re going to screw up with the long distance. This can lead to putting a major strain on the relationship in the long run.
2. Make time to speak to one another: Communication is a key component in every relationship
Texting is a sufficient way to keep up to date with how your significant other is doing throughout the day. However, phone calls are a nice treat to have a few times a week. Hearing your significant others voice is more comforting than reading a text. Facetime is also a fun way to keep the conversation interesting and to be able to actually look into your significant others eyes when having a conversation.
3. Send gifts!
It doesn’t have to be something that breaks the bank, but sending something thoughtful every once in a while lets your significant other know you care. Something as simple as sending a framed photograph or favorite candy is a great way to let your significant other know you still care about them.
4. Schedule visits during the semester
Every college runs on a different academic calendar, and sometimes breaks between significant others don’t always match up. It’s a bummer I know! But, planning visits throughout the school year can put your mind at ease. Even though you’re not able to see each other everyday, try and schedule a visit at least once a month.
5. TRUST: Do NOT smother your significant other
Worrying what your significant other is doing while trying to study for an exam, or when you stayed in for the night is no way to live. You have to trust that your significant other is going to follow the rules of your relationship! Texting and calling constantly to check-in, is only going to put strain on the relationship.
*IMPORTANT: If you can’t trust your significant other while away at school and it’s affecting your academics and social life. It may be time to re-think the relationship.*
Getting through long distance can be challenging, but if you follow this 5-step guide it is bound to ease the pressure! Starting a relationship from a summer spark with a guy from my hometown was never on my to do list before transferring to UMD this fall. However, following a basic guide such as this creates a relationship that doesn’t even feel separated by hundreds of miles.