Learning To Live Without An Audience
When I watched Bo Burnham’s Make Happy in June of 2016, I anticipated singing, dry humor, and the general devil-may-care attitude that I had come to expect from the entertainer. I never expected to be asked to look my fears and flaws in the face, and I certainly never expected to be consumed by the memory of Burnham’s monologue. Yet, here I am, a year and a half later, still pondering the message of the show.
In a quiet moment, Burnham sits at the front of the stage with the intention of sharing what it—the show, life as a millennial—was all about. He argues that the arrogance of our generation was “taught, cultivated…self-conscious.” Social media, he says, is the market’s answer to a generation that “demanded to perform.” For him, social media is the dangerous combination of performer and audience member combined into one. As the camera pans to the listening audience, pushing them into the position of the performer, Burnham offers one final thought: “If you can live your life without an audience, you should do it.”
If you can live your life without an audience, you should do it.
As the show came to a close, I sat stock-still, but my brain was going a mile a minute. How dare this entertainer, this person whose life seems to exist for an audience, tell me not to perform? Who would I be if I didn’t obsess over the way I am perceived? Would my experiences still be meaningful if I cut out the aspect of broadcasting them to my online network of acquaintances and once-friends? I still lack the answers to these questions, but this idea continues to haunt me.
Don’t think that the irony of writing this piece in the first place is lost on me. I still live in a very performative way. I post on Instagram daily, I hold the class clown role in my group of friends, and I have weekly discussions with my professional supervisor about the role in my life of other peoples’ perception of me. Like many other people my age, I don’t know how not to perform, but I’m working on it.
Maybe tomorrow, we’ll be able to step offstage.
Bo Burnham’s Make Happy is available to stream on Netflix.